The Mixed Messages We Send Our Kid

Situation 1: Kid is at a restaurant with elbows on the table. 

Two different approaches to the same problem. Same Outcome.

American: 
Get your elbows off the table, get your hands out of your hair! We just washed it and now you're putting your grubby hands in there.

Italian: 
Do you see anyone else in the restaurant putting their elbows on the table, in their hair? Then you shouldn't either.

Situation 2: Interesting piece of garbage on the ground that kid picks up to examine. 

Different approaches. Different Outcome. Moment of Origine for Childhood Trauma the Professionals will take years to untangle in adulthood...

American: 
Good girl. It is right to protect the environment and pick up the garbage even if it is not yours. Now give that piece of chewed gum in a piece of shiny paper to Mommy and I will put it in the nearest garbage can! Thanks for being Green!

Italian: 
SCOVAZZE!! Drop it! Put it DOWN! It is dirty! It has probably been peed on by 18 dogs!! Take this kleenex and we will run home and wash your hands. Don't touch anything!!!

Situation 3: American mom wants to teach her kid the alphabet before she goes to school. 

American friends: 
That is a great idea! As an emerging reader this will give her that little extra advantage when she gets to school! Hopefully she will be the best in the class right away! Good job!

Italian friends: 
DON'T DO IT! What is she going to DO those first weeks of school! She will be so BORED! How can you do that to her?? Leave it to the Professionals!


Situation 4: American parent wants to send kid to Slovenian school. 

American Parent:
We are so lucky to be on the border with another country, why not take advantage? Less students, better teacher to student ratio. Like a private school but it's public! Another language will benefit her in adulthood and ward off neurological diseases like Alzheimers! It is a different language family, so it will open the door to other Slavic languages, maybe even Russian, and German will seem EASY in comparison! It's easier to learn as a kid, she's like a sponge! She will have more options for university and eventually working for an international Entity, becoming rich and supporting her mother who will never be able to afford to retire!

Italian friends:
Yeah, but how are you going to help her with her homework?

Situation 5: Snack Time. Kid wants an apple. 

American:
Washes apple well, dries it, hands it to kid.

Italian :
Peels the skin off as it is full of Chemicals.

Kid: Doesn't care. Just hungry.