Knights without Horses: How Italian Men Show Love

I have been thinking about those little things long-term partners do for each other. They may not seem romantic but you miss those little gestures when you break up, that is for sure (No, no. All is okay at home, no worries!). "He never said he loved me, but it sure was nice having my car windows scraped off in the mornings..." That kind of stuff.

Italian men have their own set of rules and rituals that differ from their American counterparts. For example, a Triestino man would not think to brush the snow off your car for you in the morning like a good Wisconsin boy would, but that's because it never snows here. He would, on the other hand, shine your shoes for you without asking, just because he noticed they could use a polish. At least that is what my husband does, and I think that is pretty romantic.

I did an informal poll of what my male Italian friends do for their partners to show they care. Take note, and you, too, can become an Italian gentleman, or what the locals refer to affectionately as a "knight without a horse." Note, I only interviewed GOOD BOYS for this post.

What I learned is that these little actions are important to them and actually make them HAPPY. Nobody is asking them to do these things-- they do them on their own volition.

Italians really appreciate being a part of a couple, and your partner wants to be coupled with YOU. This is how they remind you.

1. Men dress up for their partners.

I found this out when I was still dating my husband. We were getting ready to go out and he was taking FOREVER to get ready. I finally huffed up the stairs and asked him what the problem was. He was all dressed up and was giving himself a squirt of cologne. I told him there was no need to dress up, we weren't going anywhere fancy.

He said, "I am dressing up because I want to look nice for you when we go out."
That changed my perspective...

Now when we go out, we BOTH get dressed up, and I may even throw on a little mascara so that I can look nice for him.

I asked for confirmation on this one. Our friend Paolo said, of course it's true! His wife told me that before they go out, he says, "Come mi vuoi?" (How do you want me to look?)

Love that.

2. Men make breakfast.

I found this one is almost universal. The men like to make the coffee in the morning and have it ready for you. One of my Italian friends living in New York boasted to me that: "In 50 years of marriage, my wife has never peeled her own orange." I have another friend who does the same for his wife and kids even if they are perfectly capable. Others LOVE to make fresh-squeezed orange juice for their families (when oranges are in season). What is it about Italian men and oranges? (Answer: I do not know).

The boys told me that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. They want to start you off right. That, and "breakfast is easier than dinner."

3. You should never have to carry your skis to the ski lift.

Ski season is over, but this came up several times, especially with the younger respondents (who can still afford to ski because they don't have to pay a mortgage??).

The boys want to carry your skis to the lift. One said that his girlfriend is just learning to ski and this is a way for her to remember skiing as a pleasant experience so she will want to go again.
Alrighty!

4. His favorite meal to make is fish.

I don't get this one either. It must be like men and grills. Here, fish is the high prestige meat, and he will do it just right.

I am veggie so this one is lost on me, but my daughter will probably appreciate this one day.

And, my favorite:

5. He will pick you up after work.

This came up again and again. In the morning we all go our separate ways, but in the afternoon, HE wants to pick you up.

"There is something nice about coming home together after being apart the entire day."

It doesn't matter where you are or what time, if he can pick you up and take you home, he will.