Teaching Children
This morning I was a guest teacher in a Pre-K class at a school I had never been to. It was me, their teacher, and 23 4-year-olds. Our lesson was my favorite book of the moment, The Pigeon Needs a Bath by Mo Willems, followed by a very nice lesson in personal hygiene-- the stuff that Pk kids go nuts for! A song about bath time, that kind of thing.
I brought name tags with me of the HELLO MY NAME IS variety. Some had pigeons on them, some had the man from the book on them. I called each kid one by one, had them come over by me. I told them my name, and asked what their name was. Then I gave them each a name tag (23 scotch tape circles made up in the 5 minute prep time I had before they arrived). I called them by name whenever I could during the hour. Their teacher said "You already know their names!" (I was reading them, but I think the effect was the same. We all like to hear our names).
***
Teaching Adults
This afternoon we had lesson two of the new classes we are offering refugees. The first class was a small one and I tried to take note of their names, but I had a hard time remembering them. When the second group came two hours later, I had a great idea.
I pulled out the name tags that were leftover from the morning. One by one I asked them "Do you want to be a man or a pigeon?" and then I asked them their names and put them on the tags (tape circles prepared, of course, only 7 this time). I had a name tag on myself (pigeon). Most of them wanted to be a man (the 4-year-olds wanted to be pigeons). For one guy, I insisted that he be a pigeon, mostly because he really resembled the pigeon in the story (but I didn't tell him this). He had the same funny expression. I said. "You ARE a pigeon!" He laughed and said "Uccello! Bird!" He is learning Italian, too.
We had our lesson in the Kitchen. Cooking and baking are great activities for getting to know each other, making a group and dealing with the problem of different language levels. Everyone learns in the kitchen. We teachers learn, too.
We made chocolate chip cookies.
Two groups-- two VERY different batches of chocolate chip cookies.
Group one: They opted for less chocolate than the recipe called for. Big Cookies. They used an ice cream scoop to make theirs perfectly round. They were enormous, fluffy. They were Delicious.
Group two: Creamed their dough forever. Even less chocolate! Put their small cookies very close together. They became one big flat cookie. They tasted like my mom's cookies. They were Delicious.
We declared that we had made the best Pakistani-American cookies ever known to humanity.
It was a blast. They had fun, Jason and I (we are teaching together) learned some Pashto (No problem! Thank you! My name is Karoline! Nice to meet you!). We became a group of friends just hanging out.
The people chosen to attend these classes are highly motivated and are taking other classes as well. They want to speak English and Italian. They want to work humble jobs in restaurants. Their expectations are low -- they are positive, driven, and thankful.
In the kitchen, they told us about their trips over. Coming to Italy took one month. They crossed 7 countries to get here. They walked and were trafficked in a container with 67 other people. They were all arrested upon arrival in Europe. The day they were fingerprinted however, was the day the cowntdown began towards being in Europe long enough to have the family come. Most of them have been here for 11 months, in another 9 they may be able to see their children again.
In the classroom, I asked about why they left.
Their region is close to Afghanistan. They had escaped because the Taliban had taken control of the main highway going through their region to Afghanistan, interrupting services, transportation, deliveries. They now controlled everything. They were given a choice: stay and be killed, or leave the household and their belongings. They left, just like I would have done in their position.
Four of them left wives and children behind because the trip would be too difficult for the children (I can't stop thinking about them). Once they are in the country long enough their families should be able to join them in a safer and more humane way. In the meantime they told me they worry every day about their safety.
I asked the second group, the advanced ones, if they worked in their home country. They did. There was a tailor, a grocer, a real estate agent, a marketer for Coca Cola, a cashier in a clothing store, and a pharmacist.
Jason asked them their specialty in the Kitchen.
"Tea" they said. "Tomorrow, we make you tea!"
Then they took off their name tags to go home and I thought about how nice it would be if we all went out into the world wearing name tags.
Monday, May 30, 2016
The Rules on the Bus
Tourist season is now upon us, so I believe it is time to have a little lesson on what you should and should not do on public transportation in Trieste.
When I say public transportation I mean the bus, of course, because that's what we've got. I am not going to address the Tram today, because that has its own set of rules.
In General:
1. You buy your tickets at the "Tabacchin" (look for the big sign with a T outside) or at some Edicolas (kiosks where you can buy magazines and the newspapers). Generally you must buy your tickets in the morning because that is when these people are open. There are some that are open in the afternoon, but chances are you will not find one when you are looking for one, so buy ahead.
Note: The bus driver will not sell you tickets. If you find yourself on a bus with no ticket, you can either
A) Risk it and hope you don't get caught or
B) Ask someone to give you a space on their ticket and you give them some money.
Both situations make you feel really stupid and terrible. Not recommended.
If you are a regular bus rider, you can also buy a yearly pass. That is what I do. It's pretty expensive, but much more convenient. You save in the long run if you take the bus every day.
When I buy for my daughter I buy 4 bus tickets with 10 rides each just so I don't have to bother thinking about bus tickets very often.
Update: You can now actually buy bus tickets with an app on your phone. Cutting edge stuff for Trieste Trasporti!!
2. You enter the bus through the FRONT door or the BACK door. You exit through the MIDDLE.
The exception to this is when the bus is super packed full. Then you can get on in the middle (people will hate you for it, but it is permissible).You can also exit the front or the back doors in these cases.
3. When there are two seats next to each other, the preferred seat is the one on the aisle because you don't have to crawl over anyone to get off. It takes a special kind of courage to ask that person to MOVE OUT OF THE WAY so you can get the empty window seat next to them, you will find the courage, just wait.
4. If you are travelling to the end of the line, do take the window seat. Otherwise you will have to move your knees about 100 times for people to get past you to take that empty seat by the window.
5. Most people give up their seat for older people and people with motor problems. You should too. There is nothing worse than seeing a bunch of hobbly people standing up while teenagers take up all the seats.
6. People with a lot of free time should avoid taking the bus during rush hour, especially if you want to avoid the situation from point 5.
7. On a crowded bus, it is customary to take off your damn backpack and put it on the floor between your legs. This goes for students as well as tourists.
8. Please don't talk on the phone when you are on the bus. You can answer an emergency call, but no chiacchiere please!
9. People with strollers can now leave them open and get on/off the middle door. Please help that frazzled parent get on and off, please!
10. If you are standing in the middle by the door and do not plan on getting off, either change position or get off for a moment when the bus stops to let others off and then hop back on.
11. Deodorant please! Especially in the summer when the old people will not let you open the window (Ciapa freddo!!)
12. Don't disturb the bus driver, unless you are friends or it is your cousin. Then you can open that door and talk away.
13. Beware of pickpockets! Zipper that bag.
I hope I got everything! Happy Riding!!
When I say public transportation I mean the bus, of course, because that's what we've got. I am not going to address the Tram today, because that has its own set of rules.
In General:
1. You buy your tickets at the "Tabacchin" (look for the big sign with a T outside) or at some Edicolas (kiosks where you can buy magazines and the newspapers). Generally you must buy your tickets in the morning because that is when these people are open. There are some that are open in the afternoon, but chances are you will not find one when you are looking for one, so buy ahead.
Note: The bus driver will not sell you tickets. If you find yourself on a bus with no ticket, you can either
A) Risk it and hope you don't get caught or
B) Ask someone to give you a space on their ticket and you give them some money.
Both situations make you feel really stupid and terrible. Not recommended.
If you are a regular bus rider, you can also buy a yearly pass. That is what I do. It's pretty expensive, but much more convenient. You save in the long run if you take the bus every day.
When I buy for my daughter I buy 4 bus tickets with 10 rides each just so I don't have to bother thinking about bus tickets very often.
Update: You can now actually buy bus tickets with an app on your phone. Cutting edge stuff for Trieste Trasporti!!
2. You enter the bus through the FRONT door or the BACK door. You exit through the MIDDLE.
The exception to this is when the bus is super packed full. Then you can get on in the middle (people will hate you for it, but it is permissible).You can also exit the front or the back doors in these cases.
3. When there are two seats next to each other, the preferred seat is the one on the aisle because you don't have to crawl over anyone to get off. It takes a special kind of courage to ask that person to MOVE OUT OF THE WAY so you can get the empty window seat next to them, you will find the courage, just wait.
4. If you are travelling to the end of the line, do take the window seat. Otherwise you will have to move your knees about 100 times for people to get past you to take that empty seat by the window.
5. Most people give up their seat for older people and people with motor problems. You should too. There is nothing worse than seeing a bunch of hobbly people standing up while teenagers take up all the seats.
6. People with a lot of free time should avoid taking the bus during rush hour, especially if you want to avoid the situation from point 5.
7. On a crowded bus, it is customary to take off your damn backpack and put it on the floor between your legs. This goes for students as well as tourists.
8. Please don't talk on the phone when you are on the bus. You can answer an emergency call, but no chiacchiere please!
9. People with strollers can now leave them open and get on/off the middle door. Please help that frazzled parent get on and off, please!
10. If you are standing in the middle by the door and do not plan on getting off, either change position or get off for a moment when the bus stops to let others off and then hop back on.
11. Deodorant please! Especially in the summer when the old people will not let you open the window (Ciapa freddo!!)
12. Don't disturb the bus driver, unless you are friends or it is your cousin. Then you can open that door and talk away.
13. Beware of pickpockets! Zipper that bag.
I hope I got everything! Happy Riding!!
Friday, May 27, 2016
T.G.I.V.
That's Italian for Thank God It's Venerdi.
Not that it means much, since so many of us work on Saturdays. At any rate, working on Saturday is still different than working on Monday (nobody likes Mondays here, either, unless you work in a shop. Then you may LOVE MONDAY because the stores are closed).
Here is a little something for your DID YOU KNOW? file:
In Italy, you normally do not say "Buon Weekend" like we do in the US.
Instead, you say:
BUONA DOMENICA!
Even if it is Saturday.
Curious.
Not that it means much, since so many of us work on Saturdays. At any rate, working on Saturday is still different than working on Monday (nobody likes Mondays here, either, unless you work in a shop. Then you may LOVE MONDAY because the stores are closed).
Here is a little something for your DID YOU KNOW? file:
In Italy, you normally do not say "Buon Weekend" like we do in the US.
Instead, you say:
BUONA DOMENICA!
Even if it is Saturday.
Curious.
Wednesday, May 25, 2016
Trieste Doesn't Have Snow Days So Thank Heavens for Strikes!
The most God-fearing Faithful Children in Wisconsin utter this simple prayer before bed:
Dear God,
Please let there be a BLIZZARD that lasts ALL NIGHT so that the STREETS CANNOT BE PLOWED IN TIME AND THE BUSSES CANNOT GET THROUGH and we DO NOT HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL.
Amen.
The God-fearing Faithful Children in Trieste have this one:
Caro Dio,
Please let there be a SCIOPERO GENERALE so that my Teachers will stay home and I CAN TOO!
Amen (same word).
Dear God,
Please let there be a BLIZZARD that lasts ALL NIGHT so that the STREETS CANNOT BE PLOWED IN TIME AND THE BUSSES CANNOT GET THROUGH and we DO NOT HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL.
Amen.
The God-fearing Faithful Children in Trieste have this one:
Caro Dio,
Please let there be a SCIOPERO GENERALE so that my Teachers will stay home and I CAN TOO!
Amen (same word).
Not that You Asked for This
This guy gets to oversee the nether regions of the Grand Canal in Trieste.
And I was doing JUST FINE before I noticed him. The problem is...now that I have, I can never go back! Dear Me!
I know you didn't ask, but I thought I would share anyway.
You are welcome!
Tuesday, May 24, 2016
Don't Worry!
The cats have been replaced by hysterical dogs. And when I say hysterical, I DON'T mean, like, funny ha ha. I mean like yippy and stressed out. Trieste is full of dogs with owners who treat them like stuffed animals. The little yippers don't know who the Capo Branco is, so they freak out. The smaller they are, the more they worry, I think. Poor dogs.
Monday, May 23, 2016
The Rise & Fall of Kitty City
Trieste used to be a Kitty City. I remember it so clearly. There were Cats everywhere, little communities of them nestled into man-made (never by men) bora-proof cat hotels hidden in nooks across town. There was one in the courtyard of my apartment building and another down the steps in the public park below. These little communes were a collection of kitty carriers lined up next to each other and on top of one another. Inside them there were blankets and/or pillows to keep our local felines comfy. They slept there in shifts.
In the same little cat-friendly zone there were bowls of dry cat food and cans of expensive cat food licked clean. Sometimes you would see one of Trieste's many "cat ladies" unloading her grocery bag with 10 cats taking turns walking past and rubbing up against her legs, meowing for her to hurry it up!
Not everyone liked Kitty City, though. Those same sweet cats found their way into our parking garage, where it was warm, especially on blustery nights. They slept on cars, scooter seats, they weren't picky...
On any given morning, it was commonplace to find your car full of kitty footprints. If they peed on your car anywhere near that vent between the hood of your car and the front wind shield, the inside of your car would reek for weeks and there was No Arbre Magique on the market that could do anything about it.
It was said that cats were afraid of shiny things, so people put 1.5 liter water bottles full of water on their cars and motorcycles to keep them away. I don't know if that worked.
There were lots of them, but I always saw the same cats. There was the one who would come out to greet me on the way to the bus stop, and others whose glowing eyes I would see when I peeked into their carriers.
Then, Poof!
The Kitty communes disappeared. One day the carriers just were not there. The crumbs were swept up, the whole area raked clean.
Who did that?
I still see cats sometimes, but I no longer know where to look for them. I keep hoping they will reappear at some point, but so far they have not.
Yesterday I came to the full realization that Trieste is no longer Kitty City. I was coming out of the parking garage and saw a disturbing sign on the door on the way out.
In the same little cat-friendly zone there were bowls of dry cat food and cans of expensive cat food licked clean. Sometimes you would see one of Trieste's many "cat ladies" unloading her grocery bag with 10 cats taking turns walking past and rubbing up against her legs, meowing for her to hurry it up!
Not everyone liked Kitty City, though. Those same sweet cats found their way into our parking garage, where it was warm, especially on blustery nights. They slept on cars, scooter seats, they weren't picky...
On any given morning, it was commonplace to find your car full of kitty footprints. If they peed on your car anywhere near that vent between the hood of your car and the front wind shield, the inside of your car would reek for weeks and there was No Arbre Magique on the market that could do anything about it.
It was said that cats were afraid of shiny things, so people put 1.5 liter water bottles full of water on their cars and motorcycles to keep them away. I don't know if that worked.
There were lots of them, but I always saw the same cats. There was the one who would come out to greet me on the way to the bus stop, and others whose glowing eyes I would see when I peeked into their carriers.
Then, Poof!
The Kitty communes disappeared. One day the carriers just were not there. The crumbs were swept up, the whole area raked clean.
Who did that?
I still see cats sometimes, but I no longer know where to look for them. I keep hoping they will reappear at some point, but so far they have not.
Yesterday I came to the full realization that Trieste is no longer Kitty City. I was coming out of the parking garage and saw a disturbing sign on the door on the way out.
BEWARE. RATS FOUND IN GARAGE.
This is not a good thing. First, because rats are gross. Second, because Rat does not rhyme with city. I want the cats back. I can't vote for the mayor because I am not an Italian citizen, but if I could, I would vote for the candidate who would bring Trieste back to it's heyday of cat greatness. It is the only issue I truly care about in the local political scene.
BRING BACK THE CATS, TRIESTE!
Sunday, May 22, 2016
End of the Year Recitals are Not Just for Dancers
The end of the school year/sports season is rife with open-to-the-family "spectacles" to show what your kids have been up to this year. Every activity seems to have one.
Ours is today. We had a swimming meet yesterday (Did I mention she started participating in swim meets when she was FOUR years old? Is that normal??) and we will be back there today watching what every level of swimmer learned this year.
Don't get me wrong. It is joyful watching your kid splash around like a pro from the stadium seating of the Bianchi diving pool. I do enjoy it, but, man, can I tell you something? It is freaking hot in there!
That, and, I can't stand other parents. I mean, it's okay if I get up and block everyone else's view and take low quality video with my phone that I will probably never watch again because I can't tell which little dot is my kid, but I can't stand the other ones who wave and try to get their kids' attention, and stand up right in my way and take THEIR videos.
I mean, really! They exasperate me.
Ours is today. We had a swimming meet yesterday (Did I mention she started participating in swim meets when she was FOUR years old? Is that normal??) and we will be back there today watching what every level of swimmer learned this year.
Don't get me wrong. It is joyful watching your kid splash around like a pro from the stadium seating of the Bianchi diving pool. I do enjoy it, but, man, can I tell you something? It is freaking hot in there!
That, and, I can't stand other parents. I mean, it's okay if I get up and block everyone else's view and take low quality video with my phone that I will probably never watch again because I can't tell which little dot is my kid, but I can't stand the other ones who wave and try to get their kids' attention, and stand up right in my way and take THEIR videos.
I mean, really! They exasperate me.
Friday, May 20, 2016
The Mixed Messages We Send Our Kid
Situation 1: Kid is at a restaurant with elbows on the table.
Two different approaches to the same problem. Same Outcome.
American:
Get your elbows off the table, get your hands out of your hair! We just washed it and now you're putting your grubby hands in there.
Italian:
Do you see anyone else in the restaurant putting their elbows on the table, in their hair? Then you shouldn't either.
Situation 2: Interesting piece of garbage on the ground that kid picks up to examine.
Different approaches. Different Outcome. Moment of Origine for Childhood Trauma the Professionals will take years to untangle in adulthood...
American:
Good girl. It is right to protect the environment and pick up the garbage even if it is not yours. Now give that piece of chewed gum in a piece of shiny paper to Mommy and I will put it in the nearest garbage can! Thanks for being Green!
Italian:
SCOVAZZE!! Drop it! Put it DOWN! It is dirty! It has probably been peed on by 18 dogs!! Take this kleenex and we will run home and wash your hands. Don't touch anything!!!
Situation 3: American mom wants to teach her kid the alphabet before she goes to school.
American friends:
That is a great idea! As an emerging reader this will give her that little extra advantage when she gets to school! Hopefully she will be the best in the class right away! Good job!
Italian friends:
DON'T DO IT! What is she going to DO those first weeks of school! She will be so BORED! How can you do that to her?? Leave it to the Professionals!
Situation 4: American parent wants to send kid to Slovenian school.
American Parent:
We are so lucky to be on the border with another country, why not take advantage? Less students, better teacher to student ratio. Like a private school but it's public! Another language will benefit her in adulthood and ward off neurological diseases like Alzheimers! It is a different language family, so it will open the door to other Slavic languages, maybe even Russian, and German will seem EASY in comparison! It's easier to learn as a kid, she's like a sponge! She will have more options for university and eventually working for an international Entity, becoming rich and supporting her mother who will never be able to afford to retire!
Italian friends:
Yeah, but how are you going to help her with her homework?
Situation 5: Snack Time. Kid wants an apple.
American:
Washes apple well, dries it, hands it to kid.
Italian :
Peels the skin off as it is full of Chemicals.
Kid: Doesn't care. Just hungry.
Two different approaches to the same problem. Same Outcome.
American:
Get your elbows off the table, get your hands out of your hair! We just washed it and now you're putting your grubby hands in there.
Italian:
Do you see anyone else in the restaurant putting their elbows on the table, in their hair? Then you shouldn't either.
Situation 2: Interesting piece of garbage on the ground that kid picks up to examine.
Different approaches. Different Outcome. Moment of Origine for Childhood Trauma the Professionals will take years to untangle in adulthood...
American:
Good girl. It is right to protect the environment and pick up the garbage even if it is not yours. Now give that piece of chewed gum in a piece of shiny paper to Mommy and I will put it in the nearest garbage can! Thanks for being Green!
Italian:
SCOVAZZE!! Drop it! Put it DOWN! It is dirty! It has probably been peed on by 18 dogs!! Take this kleenex and we will run home and wash your hands. Don't touch anything!!!
Situation 3: American mom wants to teach her kid the alphabet before she goes to school.
American friends:
That is a great idea! As an emerging reader this will give her that little extra advantage when she gets to school! Hopefully she will be the best in the class right away! Good job!
Italian friends:
DON'T DO IT! What is she going to DO those first weeks of school! She will be so BORED! How can you do that to her?? Leave it to the Professionals!
Situation 4: American parent wants to send kid to Slovenian school.
American Parent:
We are so lucky to be on the border with another country, why not take advantage? Less students, better teacher to student ratio. Like a private school but it's public! Another language will benefit her in adulthood and ward off neurological diseases like Alzheimers! It is a different language family, so it will open the door to other Slavic languages, maybe even Russian, and German will seem EASY in comparison! It's easier to learn as a kid, she's like a sponge! She will have more options for university and eventually working for an international Entity, becoming rich and supporting her mother who will never be able to afford to retire!
Italian friends:
Yeah, but how are you going to help her with her homework?
Situation 5: Snack Time. Kid wants an apple.
American:
Washes apple well, dries it, hands it to kid.
Italian :
Peels the skin off as it is full of Chemicals.
Kid: Doesn't care. Just hungry.
Wednesday, May 18, 2016
If You Want to Teach in Italy
I knew before I came to live permanently in Trieste that there would always be work for me because I was a teacher.
What I was not prepared for was what being a teacher here would really mean. You see, in the States I had a full-time job teaching Middle School and High School French in an independent school. I had a good salary and high prestige in the community (maybe I am not supposed to admit that this is important to me, but it is).
When I decided to move here, I consciously kissed my career goodbye and told myself I would get a job doing whatever I could and look for other ways to lead a satisfying life.
It's not such a sad story. I had my dream job TWICE before I left the states and I was 30 when I moved here. Who was I to expect that could happen again? I focused instead on identifying my portable skills, learning a new language, and fitting in to my new country.
I had three months. Then I would have to work again.
When school started, I began teaching again. I have been doing it ever since. After almost 13 years here I have learned a few things that have helped (and hindered) me, and others. Hopefully others contemplating teaching in Italy will benefit.
What I was not prepared for was what being a teacher here would really mean. You see, in the States I had a full-time job teaching Middle School and High School French in an independent school. I had a good salary and high prestige in the community (maybe I am not supposed to admit that this is important to me, but it is).
When I decided to move here, I consciously kissed my career goodbye and told myself I would get a job doing whatever I could and look for other ways to lead a satisfying life.
It's not such a sad story. I had my dream job TWICE before I left the states and I was 30 when I moved here. Who was I to expect that could happen again? I focused instead on identifying my portable skills, learning a new language, and fitting in to my new country.
I had three months. Then I would have to work again.
When school started, I began teaching again. I have been doing it ever since. After almost 13 years here I have learned a few things that have helped (and hindered) me, and others. Hopefully others contemplating teaching in Italy will benefit.
1. Don't limit yourself.
I changed my teaching language, worked for companies, volunteered. I branched out, met lots of people and learned new skills. This helped me diversify, which is nice in the summer when there are less teaching jobs. I supplement my income with translating, revision, and business consulting for internationalization.
2. Show your value added in the classroom.
I changed my teaching language, worked for companies, volunteered. I branched out, met lots of people and learned new skills. This helped me diversify, which is nice in the summer when there are less teaching jobs. I supplement my income with translating, revision, and business consulting for internationalization.
2. Show your value added in the classroom.
It is always good to negotiate your pay, of course. Know what others are making and try to get a little more if there is wiggle room and you know you are worth it.
Then be a kick-ass teacher who gets students coming back year after year. Show your value in this way and it will pay off 100 gazillion times over.
3. You will make less money than you did in America.
On the positive side, life is cheaper here, and you will have health insurance.
Making less money than your potential salary in America is a fact of life. Be ready to take jobs that pay less in the beginning if they can bring you increasing returns later, especially as you establish your reputation. Other points of value can be working for well-regarded schools with growth opportunities, access to master teachers you can learn from, and a professional environment.
4. University degrees from other countries are not recognized by Italian Institutions.
This means that you are not eligible to teach in any type of government structure, including Public Schools, unless you go through a long and expensive process of having your degrees officially “recognized” by the Italian University system. This usually means a lot of bureaucracy and having to take more classes to meet Italian requirements. The good news is that, strangely, the University does recognize foreign degrees in certain cases, so I have taught at the University, but could never get a job at a public school of any level below that.
5. If you are a native speaker you can teach. To survive, you have to teach well and be a good colleague.
Outside of public competitions for small teaching contracts (teaching a class at the university, doing a few hours of conversation in the public schools, that type of thing), as long as you are a native speaker, no one cares what you studied or how much teaching experience you have. This can be good news for people wanting to break into the teaching business.
Be warned, however, that the volume of work you get will directly correlate to how well you get along with the people giving you the work and the students you teach. Both relationships are important. I have found that you must think long-term. By the way, a huge source of work is other teachers. Be good to them.
6. The skinny on getting hired.
Be warned, however, that the volume of work you get will directly correlate to how well you get along with the people giving you the work and the students you teach. Both relationships are important. I have found that you must think long-term. By the way, a huge source of work is other teachers. Be good to them.
6. The skinny on getting hired.
Permanent contracts in private or international schools
have their pros and cons. Some international schools pay relatively well but
the contract will have a limited duration of 2 years, after which your status
changes from “researcher” to permanent employee and costs more fiscally, so it
is cheaper to bring in someone new. Teachers who take these jobs tend to have
student loans to pay back home, so continuing just isn’t feasible anyway, so
this is not always a bad thing. Other schools here hire teachers as locals and
the pay is about half of what you can make if you are freelance. Again, for
some people, security is the key factor.
7. To teach legally you have to be legal.
Assuming you are allowed to work in Italy because you have all of your documents in order, you have three choices. Get a contract with a school, work as an occasional worker (max 5,000 gross per year, all clients considered, no more than 30 days in one place), or open a VAT number and operate like a one-person business.
Here is what is not legal: working and getting paid in
cash. Many people do this and get away with it, but as a teacher in general,
you are in a position of trust and accordingly held to a higher standard. If
you work in cash you are opening yourself up to being treated like the hired
help. You are not considered a professional. Prestige-wise it is about as low
on the ladder as you can get.
8. Opening a VAT number means taking responsibility and has the biggest pay-off
8. Opening a VAT number means taking responsibility and has the biggest pay-off
Prestige-wise, opening a VAT is the way to go, but it is
not for everyone. Taxes are high, and so are your expenses with a local
accountant. That being said, there are VAT “regimes” to benefit young people,
and/or people who make less than 30.000 euros in a year, so there are ways to
get the most out of it. This was the route I chose and I have never regretted
it. The important thing is to always overestimate how much you have to pay in taxes. I tell myself I will have to pay 50% in taxes (even though I pay a bit less) so that I always have enough set aside to cover my taxes.
9. Teaching in a foreign country is cool, but get the info first.
9. Teaching in a foreign country is cool, but get the info first.
Teaching English in a foreign country can open up new worlds for you. The important thing
is to make sure you know what you are getting into. Keep your expectations low so you don't get disappointed and live a simple life and you can't go wrong.
My working life is rich, varied and satisfying. My two worlds have finally come together to create something better than the sum of their parts. It took a hell of a long time, though, and I had to take some risks. Some worked out, others didn't but overall I am happy.
10. If this is the way you want to go, be patient and pick up a few hobbies to keep you sane.
My working life is rich, varied and satisfying. My two worlds have finally come together to create something better than the sum of their parts. It took a hell of a long time, though, and I had to take some risks. Some worked out, others didn't but overall I am happy.
10. If this is the way you want to go, be patient and pick up a few hobbies to keep you sane.
I Never Noticed these Dudes
Never noticed them.
Then I thought: Are these my new colleagues? They look young.
Then I thought, what are they doing up there dawdling when there is work to be done?
And then I addressed them directly:
Um, excuse me! When you are done floating up there in heaven, could you all come down and make me a pot of coffee and finish those photocopies?!
Tuesday, May 17, 2016
For Your Summer Visitors
Four ideas:
1. THE NEW OLD TRAIN THAT MAY OR MAY NOT OPEN THIS SUMMER
This is aninteresting article (in Italian) about the New Old Train in the Porto Vecchio that is being defibrillated put back in service just in shallah time for the upcoming election Summer!
ME:
Honey! Honey! If the Piccolo has it right, within two weeks the train in Porto Vecchio will be rolling again, taking sweaty Triestini and guests to Barcola Beach this summer! We may even be able to load our bikes onto it! Won't that be PERFECT for our Family Reunion??
HIM: CHI GA SCRITTO? EL SINDACO?!! OVVIO CHE VUOLE RIMANERE SINDACO!
Always the optimist, he says two weeks in the Piccolo can be translated into six human years. It would be nice to have a train downtown, though, don't you think? But that old thing? How about a fancy new one with AC?!
You must know this: Triestini hate AC, and they love the past. So I am out of luck.
2. THE BOAT TO PIRAN AND ROVIGNO THAT STARTS JULY 1
www.triestelines.it
Samer & CO shipping will start service to and from Trieste to Piran (Slovenia) and Rovinj (Croatia) and Pola on July 1. It leaves from MOLO IV and goes every day except Monday. 0 to 5 are free. Bring your passport or European ID, of course. But you know that.
3. The Delfino Verde BOAT TO MUGGIA, GRIGNANO, SISTIANA STARTS JUNE 1
On June 1 service will begin from Piazza Unità (closeby anyway) to Muggia in one direction (small, Venice-like town, a crowd pleaser), and Barcola (cement beach covered with tanning triestini in various states of undress), Grignano (shortcut to Miramare castle, some boats, swimming) and Sistiana (normal people beach on one side, fancy people beach on the other side). You buy tickets on the boat and they don't cost much more than the bus.
4. The Opicina Tram RUNS WHEN SHE DARN WELL FEELS LIKE IT BECAUSE SHE IS OLD ENOUGH TO BE YOUR GRANDMA'S GRANDMA!
Go to Piazza Oberdan and cross your fingers! Lately, it has been reliable... What to do when you get up to Opicina? Hmm. I think Ice Cream is the best policy. Bring change.
1. THE NEW OLD TRAIN THAT MAY OR MAY NOT OPEN THIS SUMMER
This is an
ME:
Honey! Honey! If the Piccolo has it right, within two weeks the train in Porto Vecchio will be rolling again, taking sweaty Triestini and guests to Barcola Beach this summer! We may even be able to load our bikes onto it! Won't that be PERFECT for our Family Reunion??
HIM: CHI GA SCRITTO? EL SINDACO?!! OVVIO CHE VUOLE RIMANERE SINDACO!
Always the optimist, he says two weeks in the Piccolo can be translated into six human years. It would be nice to have a train downtown, though, don't you think? But that old thing? How about a fancy new one with AC?!
You must know this: Triestini hate AC, and they love the past. So I am out of luck.
2. THE BOAT TO PIRAN AND ROVIGNO THAT STARTS JULY 1
www.triestelines.it
Samer & CO shipping will start service to and from Trieste to Piran (Slovenia) and Rovinj (Croatia) and Pola on July 1. It leaves from MOLO IV and goes every day except Monday. 0 to 5 are free. Bring your passport or European ID, of course. But you know that.
3. The Delfino Verde BOAT TO MUGGIA, GRIGNANO, SISTIANA STARTS JUNE 1
On June 1 service will begin from Piazza Unità (closeby anyway) to Muggia in one direction (small, Venice-like town, a crowd pleaser), and Barcola (cement beach covered with tanning triestini in various states of undress), Grignano (shortcut to Miramare castle, some boats, swimming) and Sistiana (normal people beach on one side, fancy people beach on the other side). You buy tickets on the boat and they don't cost much more than the bus.
4. The Opicina Tram RUNS WHEN SHE DARN WELL FEELS LIKE IT BECAUSE SHE IS OLD ENOUGH TO BE YOUR GRANDMA'S GRANDMA!
Go to Piazza Oberdan and cross your fingers! Lately, it has been reliable... What to do when you get up to Opicina? Hmm. I think Ice Cream is the best policy. Bring change.
Monday, May 16, 2016
One More Post on Saving Cash- The Calzolaio
One more thing (for now) on living the Simple Life in Trieste. The CALZOLAIO. Everyone has their favorite. My best cobbler has a facebook page with some serious action-- there is a ton of traffic in and out of the actual place on a regular basis, too!
Triestini know that it's better to pay a little more for your shoes, and then wear the HELL out of them for years and years with routine maintenance.
Ask anyone. They will tell you. If you go to La Bottega del Calzolaio in Ponte Rosso, which is my personal favorite, tell them Karoline sent you.
In case you are not sure what they do, you can:
1. Stick a heel back on your stiletto.
2. Get new soles on your fancy work shoes.
3. Get your tennies buffed up.
4. Get your leather goods sewn up where the stitching is loose.
5. Get a touch up so your shoes look good again.
I am a believer.
Triestini know that it's better to pay a little more for your shoes, and then wear the HELL out of them for years and years with routine maintenance.
Ask anyone. They will tell you. If you go to La Bottega del Calzolaio in Ponte Rosso, which is my personal favorite, tell them Karoline sent you.
In case you are not sure what they do, you can:
1. Stick a heel back on your stiletto.
2. Get new soles on your fancy work shoes.
3. Get your tennies buffed up.
4. Get your leather goods sewn up where the stitching is loose.
5. Get a touch up so your shoes look good again.
I am a believer.
Thursday, May 12, 2016
Italian Kids Like Fish & Spinach, Yours Will, Too!
Need a cure for a picky eater? Dinner at my mother-in-law's house. She will give your persnickity sweeties spinach (and they will like it because it has salt, butter and parmesan cheese in it), have them eating fish that actually looks like fish (they will be picking off the heads and tails like pros after just one sitting) and it may just be freshly fried, but they will like it baked, too, or marinated.
How is it possible, you ask? Because they will not have the courage to say no. First, because she does not take no for an answer, and second because they would realize from her tone of voice and the way she serves the food, that food is important. It is to be taken seriously, treated with respect, and never, ever refused.
It's not just her house, either. Restaurants (unless they cater to tourists) do not have a kids' menu here. For Italian restaurants, "kids' menu" means giving you a half portion of something that is on the regular menu (so that no food gets thrown away, which is a crime against food, and therefore not tolerated in Italy).
Here are some other things your picky kid will try and like in Italy, given the chance to dine with my mother-in-law.
1. Salad (dressed with only vinegar, salt, and olive oil)
2. Olives
3. Rabbit and/or Horse, Beef, or Ham (She is NOT a vegetarian, but she has learned to live with me)
4. Yogurt at snack time
5. Apricots, fresh figs, and whatever other fruit is in season
6. Artichokes
7. Green beans
8. Cabbage & Beans
She will use the best ingredients and I guarantee you whatever she makes will taste good. Your kids will leave here different people. I promise.
Just give me some advance warning so she can buy spinach.
How is it possible, you ask? Because they will not have the courage to say no. First, because she does not take no for an answer, and second because they would realize from her tone of voice and the way she serves the food, that food is important. It is to be taken seriously, treated with respect, and never, ever refused.
It's not just her house, either. Restaurants (unless they cater to tourists) do not have a kids' menu here. For Italian restaurants, "kids' menu" means giving you a half portion of something that is on the regular menu (so that no food gets thrown away, which is a crime against food, and therefore not tolerated in Italy).
Here are some other things your picky kid will try and like in Italy, given the chance to dine with my mother-in-law.
1. Salad (dressed with only vinegar, salt, and olive oil)
2. Olives
3. Rabbit and/or Horse, Beef, or Ham (She is NOT a vegetarian, but she has learned to live with me)
4. Yogurt at snack time
5. Apricots, fresh figs, and whatever other fruit is in season
6. Artichokes
7. Green beans
8. Cabbage & Beans
She will use the best ingredients and I guarantee you whatever she makes will taste good. Your kids will leave here different people. I promise.
Just give me some advance warning so she can buy spinach.
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
A Triestino Guide to Saving Money
Hope you enjoy these money-saving strategies inspired by the frugalest of the frugal and you will make any Triestine proud!
1. Never pay for parking
Triestini hate paying for parking. Take a look at the lot downtown by Piazza Unità . The license plates? All foreign. Maybe there are a few cars from other regions in Italy that don't know any better.
Triestini would rather hike down from San Giusto and back up again to avoid paying that 80 cents/hour or whatever it costs now to park downtown. My husband says it's not about money, it's about PRINCIPLE.
Which is why the Triestini look for ambiguity and take advantage of spaces where it is not clear whose jurisdiction it is to give you a ticket. Case in point, in that same parking lot, if you park in the blue lines (blue means you pay, white means you don't) you pay for your parking and if your time runs out you get a ticket. If you park OUTSIDE the lines, however, some other "authority" has to come out and give you a ticket. But is it the Port Authority? Is it the local Police? No one really knows, so while they are trying to figure that one out, you can go meet your friends, have a nice walk, and come back to your car without spending a thing. The Parking people can't do a thing about it. They work for a private company that manages the parking spaces that are DRAWN with blue lines.
I wouldn't recommend this trick to you if you are not from Trieste, however. Your illegal parking instincts just aren't sharp enough yet. The Triestini have moved on to better parking options by now, anyway. But I am not allowed to reveal where until they start ticketing there, too.
That is the Triestine Parking Pact and you must be initiated.
2. Buy your clothes at Boutique Mirella
Affectionately known to the Triestini as "Da Mirella" as if you were going to the home of the famous owner, Boutique Mirella is the official outfitter for 3/4 of Trieste (people for sure, and probably the other stores, too) and a large part of ex-Yugoslavia. You, too, can witness the best cultural spectacle this side of the Station! It is Trieste's version of Filene's basement, without the brand names. This shopping experience is not for the faint-hearted. Go with your mother-in-law. She knows how the system works.
Can't find it, you say? Look for the white manequins outside all dressed in the same color not far from more manequins without heads who are wearing a complementary color.
This week they are wearing YELLOW.
3. Order a "Capo in B"
A "CAPO" is called a MACCHIATO in any other town outside of Trieste. The CAPO IN B is a small "Capuccino" served in a small glass, or BICHIERE which the Triestini claim is BIGGER than a normal espresso cup.
This means you get more for your money.
4. Stand up at the bar and have your coffee.
Bars in Trieste charge you the same amount for a cup of coffee no matter where you go if you are standing up. If you sit down it will cost you 2-3 times as much. Some bars have a deal where you can pay for 9 coffees and get 10 or discounts if you get coffee and a brioche (which is not a brioche in the French sense, but more like an industrially-produced croissant stuffed with apricot jelly, custard, or nutella).
Oddly, Triestini don't like the idea of replacing their coffee out with a coffee at home. They will also have coffee at home, of course, but coffee at a bar is a sort of ritual, and is considered the "good" coffee of the day.
5. Live without a dryer.
To us Americans it seems uncivilized, but Triestini say dryers are bad for your clothes. Right! I used to say, until I got used to not having one. Your clothes last longer, you spend less on electricity, and... what's not to like about waiting two days for your clothes to dry in winter? Actually, if you put on your de-humidifier in the bathroom overnight and it's cold enough to have the heat on, they dry overnight.
Don't shoot the messenger. This is what the Triestini do!
5. Have your apperitivo where there is free food.
Everyone now is having their happy hours in ViaTorrino, which is that street that goes up to Piazza Hortis. Do they have free food? I am not sure, but if they do, rest assured that if they do, the bar is full of Triestini having a drink and loading up so they can skip dinner.
6. Get your gas, cigarettes, and Sunday lunch in Slovenia.
Some things never change. Even Lorenzo Pilat addressed this in his Triestine Anthem "Finanziere" about Triestini coming back over the border from Slovenia smuggling meat and grappa when it was still Yugoslavia. It's not as cheap as it used to be, but there are still savings to be had by doing your grocery shopping and fill-ups in Slovenia, and, while you are there, loading up on mixed grill in a quantity-is-better-than-quality restaurant somewhere close by.
7. Buy wine in bulk, or "sfuso".
We get ours in Slovenia most of the time, but you can also go to places in town here and buy really nice wine by the liter. Bring your own 1.5 liter water bottles and transfer to glass bottles when you get home. Not recommended for bringing to someone's house if you are invited for dinner unless you got a really good verduzzo or you are really good friends. Note: drink it fast. It doesn't last as long as the bottled kind.
8. Go to the "Mercato del Ingrosso" on Saturday mornings
Where else can you get a CASE OF RADISHES for 2 euros?! (Next question, what the hell do you do with a CASE OF RADISHES??) This is the best of Triestine food shopping. There is hustle and bustle, people yelling, and forklifts. You can also bargain with the sellers who want to get rid of their stock on Saturday. The catch is that you have to buy things by the case, so go with a friend and split what you buy. Otherwise you will have carrots coming out of your ears after three days.
The Mercato here is open from 10am to 11am. Before that they are only open to merchants who buy the same food and mark it up to sell to the public in normal quantities.
BTW, if you want to buy in normal quantities but want that mercato feel, go to the Mercato Coperto in Largo Barriera. There you can also buy from local farmers. You can get things like eggs from real chickens there, too. I recommend it.
9. Make friends with a person with an "Orto"
I love people with vegetable gardens. Especially during tomato season. Beware of excess zucchini! I don't know what it is about that stuff, but everyone seems to plant too much zucchini and no one really likes it as far as I can tell.
11. Buy your car used.
This is how you tell the spenders from the savers! The savers have used cars they bought in cash. The spenders have new cars they buy with financing.
12. Maximize on the affordable luxuries.
Triestini buy a can of really expensive coffee ONCE and then use the can over and over again but filled with their favorite off brand of coffee. They swear that their secret brand is JUST AS GOOD and that NO ONE EVER NOTICES.
The fancy coffee can looks GREAT when you have guests!
That is what it is all about, of course, saving money but making it look like you spent LOTS! One time I got a really good deal on a summer dress. I was so excited I only paid 15 euros for it. I was announcing it to the world. My mother-in-law took me aside and advised me: "Karoline, you must NEVER reveal how much you paid for that dress, just wear it and look great."
The joy is in the secret.
1. Never pay for parking
Triestini hate paying for parking. Take a look at the lot downtown by Piazza Unità . The license plates? All foreign. Maybe there are a few cars from other regions in Italy that don't know any better.
Triestini would rather hike down from San Giusto and back up again to avoid paying that 80 cents/hour or whatever it costs now to park downtown. My husband says it's not about money, it's about PRINCIPLE.
Which is why the Triestini look for ambiguity and take advantage of spaces where it is not clear whose jurisdiction it is to give you a ticket. Case in point, in that same parking lot, if you park in the blue lines (blue means you pay, white means you don't) you pay for your parking and if your time runs out you get a ticket. If you park OUTSIDE the lines, however, some other "authority" has to come out and give you a ticket. But is it the Port Authority? Is it the local Police? No one really knows, so while they are trying to figure that one out, you can go meet your friends, have a nice walk, and come back to your car without spending a thing. The Parking people can't do a thing about it. They work for a private company that manages the parking spaces that are DRAWN with blue lines.
I wouldn't recommend this trick to you if you are not from Trieste, however. Your illegal parking instincts just aren't sharp enough yet. The Triestini have moved on to better parking options by now, anyway. But I am not allowed to reveal where until they start ticketing there, too.
That is the Triestine Parking Pact and you must be initiated.
2. Buy your clothes at Boutique Mirella
Affectionately known to the Triestini as "Da Mirella" as if you were going to the home of the famous owner, Boutique Mirella is the official outfitter for 3/4 of Trieste (people for sure, and probably the other stores, too) and a large part of ex-Yugoslavia. You, too, can witness the best cultural spectacle this side of the Station! It is Trieste's version of Filene's basement, without the brand names. This shopping experience is not for the faint-hearted. Go with your mother-in-law. She knows how the system works.
Can't find it, you say? Look for the white manequins outside all dressed in the same color not far from more manequins without heads who are wearing a complementary color.
This week they are wearing YELLOW.
3. Order a "Capo in B"
A "CAPO" is called a MACCHIATO in any other town outside of Trieste. The CAPO IN B is a small "Capuccino" served in a small glass, or BICHIERE which the Triestini claim is BIGGER than a normal espresso cup.
This means you get more for your money.
4. Stand up at the bar and have your coffee.
Bars in Trieste charge you the same amount for a cup of coffee no matter where you go if you are standing up. If you sit down it will cost you 2-3 times as much. Some bars have a deal where you can pay for 9 coffees and get 10 or discounts if you get coffee and a brioche (which is not a brioche in the French sense, but more like an industrially-produced croissant stuffed with apricot jelly, custard, or nutella).
Oddly, Triestini don't like the idea of replacing their coffee out with a coffee at home. They will also have coffee at home, of course, but coffee at a bar is a sort of ritual, and is considered the "good" coffee of the day.
5. Live without a dryer.
To us Americans it seems uncivilized, but Triestini say dryers are bad for your clothes. Right! I used to say, until I got used to not having one. Your clothes last longer, you spend less on electricity, and... what's not to like about waiting two days for your clothes to dry in winter? Actually, if you put on your de-humidifier in the bathroom overnight and it's cold enough to have the heat on, they dry overnight.
Don't shoot the messenger. This is what the Triestini do!
5. Have your apperitivo where there is free food.
Everyone now is having their happy hours in ViaTorrino, which is that street that goes up to Piazza Hortis. Do they have free food? I am not sure, but if they do, rest assured that if they do, the bar is full of Triestini having a drink and loading up so they can skip dinner.
6. Get your gas, cigarettes, and Sunday lunch in Slovenia.
Some things never change. Even Lorenzo Pilat addressed this in his Triestine Anthem "Finanziere" about Triestini coming back over the border from Slovenia smuggling meat and grappa when it was still Yugoslavia. It's not as cheap as it used to be, but there are still savings to be had by doing your grocery shopping and fill-ups in Slovenia, and, while you are there, loading up on mixed grill in a quantity-is-better-than-quality restaurant somewhere close by.
7. Buy wine in bulk, or "sfuso".
We get ours in Slovenia most of the time, but you can also go to places in town here and buy really nice wine by the liter. Bring your own 1.5 liter water bottles and transfer to glass bottles when you get home. Not recommended for bringing to someone's house if you are invited for dinner unless you got a really good verduzzo or you are really good friends. Note: drink it fast. It doesn't last as long as the bottled kind.
8. Go to the "Mercato del Ingrosso" on Saturday mornings
Where else can you get a CASE OF RADISHES for 2 euros?! (Next question, what the hell do you do with a CASE OF RADISHES??) This is the best of Triestine food shopping. There is hustle and bustle, people yelling, and forklifts. You can also bargain with the sellers who want to get rid of their stock on Saturday. The catch is that you have to buy things by the case, so go with a friend and split what you buy. Otherwise you will have carrots coming out of your ears after three days.
The Mercato here is open from 10am to 11am. Before that they are only open to merchants who buy the same food and mark it up to sell to the public in normal quantities.
BTW, if you want to buy in normal quantities but want that mercato feel, go to the Mercato Coperto in Largo Barriera. There you can also buy from local farmers. You can get things like eggs from real chickens there, too. I recommend it.
9. Make friends with a person with an "Orto"
I love people with vegetable gardens. Especially during tomato season. Beware of excess zucchini! I don't know what it is about that stuff, but everyone seems to plant too much zucchini and no one really likes it as far as I can tell.
11. Buy your car used.
This is how you tell the spenders from the savers! The savers have used cars they bought in cash. The spenders have new cars they buy with financing.
12. Maximize on the affordable luxuries.
Triestini buy a can of really expensive coffee ONCE and then use the can over and over again but filled with their favorite off brand of coffee. They swear that their secret brand is JUST AS GOOD and that NO ONE EVER NOTICES.
The fancy coffee can looks GREAT when you have guests!
That is what it is all about, of course, saving money but making it look like you spent LOTS! One time I got a really good deal on a summer dress. I was so excited I only paid 15 euros for it. I was announcing it to the world. My mother-in-law took me aside and advised me: "Karoline, you must NEVER reveal how much you paid for that dress, just wear it and look great."
The joy is in the secret.
Tuesday, May 10, 2016
How was your Bavisela?
Mine was fine. I did the half marathon.
Can I just say something?
Is it me or is this the LONELIEST half marathon in Europe (I was going to say in the World). I mean there are a lot of people and all. The Family Run is well attended, and there are a fair amount of runners doing the half, but, yeesh!
The Triestini on the sidelines (both of them) need a lesson in how to cheer people on, or at least look cheerful.
I don't mean to say they have to be as good as in Venice (although I must plug the Venice marathon for the enthusiasm of the fans at all points of the route. Even the trains on the bridge into Venice honk at you!!)
One of the guys from the Protezione Civile tried to help break up the silence, though. He had his car parked on the side of the road with his radio on full blast (Welcome to the Jungle, Baby, You're gonna DIE!!!)
There were two (2) people making noise on the route. One with a cow bell, one with a noise maker.
So, after we left the starting line (Berimbau, thank you for the drumming send-off) it was a loooooong and silent run.
Maybe I was extra sensitive to the longness and the boringness because I was out of shape and it took me 40 minutes longer than usual,
I mean that could be. But overall, sigh, it just felt lonely.
Can I just say something?
Is it me or is this the LONELIEST half marathon in Europe (I was going to say in the World). I mean there are a lot of people and all. The Family Run is well attended, and there are a fair amount of runners doing the half, but, yeesh!
The Triestini on the sidelines (both of them) need a lesson in how to cheer people on, or at least look cheerful.
I don't mean to say they have to be as good as in Venice (although I must plug the Venice marathon for the enthusiasm of the fans at all points of the route. Even the trains on the bridge into Venice honk at you!!)
One of the guys from the Protezione Civile tried to help break up the silence, though. He had his car parked on the side of the road with his radio on full blast (Welcome to the Jungle, Baby, You're gonna DIE!!!)
There were two (2) people making noise on the route. One with a cow bell, one with a noise maker.
So, after we left the starting line (Berimbau, thank you for the drumming send-off) it was a loooooong and silent run.
Maybe I was extra sensitive to the longness and the boringness because I was out of shape and it took me 40 minutes longer than usual,
I mean that could be. But overall, sigh, it just felt lonely.
Monday, May 9, 2016
Knights without Horses: How Italian Men Show Love
I have been thinking about those little things long-term partners do for each other. They may not seem romantic but you miss those little gestures when you break up, that is for sure (No, no. All is okay at home, no worries!). "He never said he loved me, but it sure was nice having my car windows scraped off in the mornings..." That kind of stuff.
Italian men have their own set of rules and rituals that differ from their American counterparts. For example, a Triestino man would not think to brush the snow off your car for you in the morning like a good Wisconsin boy would, but that's because it never snows here. He would, on the other hand, shine your shoes for you without asking, just because he noticed they could use a polish. At least that is what my husband does, and I think that is pretty romantic.
I did an informal poll of what my male Italian friends do for their partners to show they care. Take note, and you, too, can become an Italian gentleman, or what the locals refer to affectionately as a "knight without a horse." Note, I only interviewed GOOD BOYS for this post.
What I learned is that these little actions are important to them and actually make them HAPPY. Nobody is asking them to do these things-- they do them on their own volition.
Italians really appreciate being a part of a couple, and your partner wants to be coupled with YOU. This is how they remind you.
1. Men dress up for their partners.
I found this out when I was still dating my husband. We were getting ready to go out and he was taking FOREVER to get ready. I finally huffed up the stairs and asked him what the problem was. He was all dressed up and was giving himself a squirt of cologne. I told him there was no need to dress up, we weren't going anywhere fancy.
He said, "I am dressing up because I want to look nice for you when we go out."
That changed my perspective...
Now when we go out, we BOTH get dressed up, and I may even throw on a little mascara so that I can look nice for him.
I asked for confirmation on this one. Our friend Paolo said, of course it's true! His wife told me that before they go out, he says, "Come mi vuoi?" (How do you want me to look?)
Love that.
2. Men make breakfast.
I found this one is almost universal. The men like to make the coffee in the morning and have it ready for you. One of my Italian friends living in New York boasted to me that: "In 50 years of marriage, my wife has never peeled her own orange." I have another friend who does the same for his wife and kids even if they are perfectly capable. Others LOVE to make fresh-squeezed orange juice for their families (when oranges are in season). What is it about Italian men and oranges? (Answer: I do not know).
The boys told me that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. They want to start you off right. That, and "breakfast is easier than dinner."
3. You should never have to carry your skis to the ski lift.
Ski season is over, but this came up several times, especially with the younger respondents (who can still afford to ski because they don't have to pay a mortgage??).
The boys want to carry your skis to the lift. One said that his girlfriend is just learning to ski and this is a way for her to remember skiing as a pleasant experience so she will want to go again.
Alrighty!
4. His favorite meal to make is fish.
I don't get this one either. It must be like men and grills. Here, fish is the high prestige meat, and he will do it just right.
I am veggie so this one is lost on me, but my daughter will probably appreciate this one day.
And, my favorite:
5. He will pick you up after work.
This came up again and again. In the morning we all go our separate ways, but in the afternoon, HE wants to pick you up.
"There is something nice about coming home together after being apart the entire day."
It doesn't matter where you are or what time, if he can pick you up and take you home, he will.
Italian men have their own set of rules and rituals that differ from their American counterparts. For example, a Triestino man would not think to brush the snow off your car for you in the morning like a good Wisconsin boy would, but that's because it never snows here. He would, on the other hand, shine your shoes for you without asking, just because he noticed they could use a polish. At least that is what my husband does, and I think that is pretty romantic.
I did an informal poll of what my male Italian friends do for their partners to show they care. Take note, and you, too, can become an Italian gentleman, or what the locals refer to affectionately as a "knight without a horse." Note, I only interviewed GOOD BOYS for this post.
What I learned is that these little actions are important to them and actually make them HAPPY. Nobody is asking them to do these things-- they do them on their own volition.
Italians really appreciate being a part of a couple, and your partner wants to be coupled with YOU. This is how they remind you.
1. Men dress up for their partners.
I found this out when I was still dating my husband. We were getting ready to go out and he was taking FOREVER to get ready. I finally huffed up the stairs and asked him what the problem was. He was all dressed up and was giving himself a squirt of cologne. I told him there was no need to dress up, we weren't going anywhere fancy.
He said, "I am dressing up because I want to look nice for you when we go out."
That changed my perspective...
Now when we go out, we BOTH get dressed up, and I may even throw on a little mascara so that I can look nice for him.
I asked for confirmation on this one. Our friend Paolo said, of course it's true! His wife told me that before they go out, he says, "Come mi vuoi?" (How do you want me to look?)
Love that.
2. Men make breakfast.
I found this one is almost universal. The men like to make the coffee in the morning and have it ready for you. One of my Italian friends living in New York boasted to me that: "In 50 years of marriage, my wife has never peeled her own orange." I have another friend who does the same for his wife and kids even if they are perfectly capable. Others LOVE to make fresh-squeezed orange juice for their families (when oranges are in season). What is it about Italian men and oranges? (Answer: I do not know).
The boys told me that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. They want to start you off right. That, and "breakfast is easier than dinner."
3. You should never have to carry your skis to the ski lift.
Ski season is over, but this came up several times, especially with the younger respondents (who can still afford to ski because they don't have to pay a mortgage??).
The boys want to carry your skis to the lift. One said that his girlfriend is just learning to ski and this is a way for her to remember skiing as a pleasant experience so she will want to go again.
Alrighty!
4. His favorite meal to make is fish.
I don't get this one either. It must be like men and grills. Here, fish is the high prestige meat, and he will do it just right.
I am veggie so this one is lost on me, but my daughter will probably appreciate this one day.
And, my favorite:
5. He will pick you up after work.
This came up again and again. In the morning we all go our separate ways, but in the afternoon, HE wants to pick you up.
"There is something nice about coming home together after being apart the entire day."
It doesn't matter where you are or what time, if he can pick you up and take you home, he will.
Thursday, May 5, 2016
Junk Food Not So Popular Here
I like to play a game with the Triestini. It's called "Truth or Stereotype." I fill it up with all kinds of doozies, mostly stereotypes about Italians that we see in the movies. They like refuting the mythical idea that most of the world has about them.
Then I throw in a trick question.
Me: Food is the closest thing to an Italian's heart. Truth or stereotype?
The other person: squirms a second in their chair, physical discomfort comes over them.
No one wants to be predictable but this one is just just too hard to deny. They look down at the floor, then squint up at me like I am the sun.
"Yes. It's true."
Ask any Italian and they will tell you this is the case. Well, one guy I asked said he didn't care about food much but I consider him the exception that proves the rule.
This explains:
Why the major topic of conversation over meals is often, well, the meal...
Why family time on Sunday can mean up to four hours in the dining room...
Why the grocery stores stock mainly fruits and vegetables that are in season...
And
Why any kind of processed food and what we call "junk food" is referred to as "schifezze" which is related to the idiomatic expression
FA SCHIFO!!!
English translation: IT MAKES ME WANT TO PUKE!
Junk food puke makers. Chips anyone?
Then I throw in a trick question.
Me: Food is the closest thing to an Italian's heart. Truth or stereotype?
The other person: squirms a second in their chair, physical discomfort comes over them.
No one wants to be predictable but this one is just just too hard to deny. They look down at the floor, then squint up at me like I am the sun.
"Yes. It's true."
Ask any Italian and they will tell you this is the case. Well, one guy I asked said he didn't care about food much but I consider him the exception that proves the rule.
This explains:
Why the major topic of conversation over meals is often, well, the meal...
Why family time on Sunday can mean up to four hours in the dining room...
Why the grocery stores stock mainly fruits and vegetables that are in season...
And
Why any kind of processed food and what we call "junk food" is referred to as "schifezze" which is related to the idiomatic expression
FA SCHIFO!!!
English translation: IT MAKES ME WANT TO PUKE!
Junk food puke makers. Chips anyone?
Wednesday, May 4, 2016
Coffee Date? The Italian way of saying "We're Cool, Right?"
When I first moved to Trieste I thought that having coffee was an excuse for not working. You can hardly blame me. Be a fly on the wall of any office in Trieste, and here is what it looks like.
8:30 Empty.
8:45 Empty.
8:58 Empty.
8:59 First employees trickle in.
9:05 The rest of the team arrives. Coats stay on.
9:06 Turn on computer. Wait for the straggler to arrive.
9:07 Entire office leaves and walks to the nearest coffee outlet (machine, or, if lucky, a bar)
9:08-9:30 Empty.
9:31 The actual workday begins.
For an American, this seems strange. After all, we have our coffee at home. It is cheaper, and we can have more of it. That, and, We Know that you are supposed to WORK AT LEAST TWO HOURS to EARN another cup of coffee.
In Trieste, however, that is not how things roll.
You want to try something crazy and see two cultures collide?
I have a fun experiment for you then. Here is what you do:
Tell your Italian colleagues that you already had your coffee and that you will be skipping the morning trip to the coffee machine and see what happens.
Don't have the courage? No problem, because here is what will go down:
Someone will ask you if everything is OK and look at you with concern.
Another person will actually COME BACK and see if you have changed your mind.
Yet another will wonder what he or she did to deserve this snub.
Your office detractor will do a self-confirmation that you think you are better than everyone else.
If you wait a few minutes more, then, like clockwork, YOUR BOSS will stomp into your office and say:
WE ARE WAITING ON YOU! LET'S GO, STECKLEY!
And you will reluctantly get up and follow the other ducks. But, you will summon up your internal rebel to SHOW THEM and NOT ORDER COFFEE! Hmmph! So THAT is what you do.
And guess what. NO ONE EVEN NOTICES. Because your Italian colleagues do not really care about what you drink at the coffee break. They just want you to be there.
Culture lesson!
You see, for Italians, this is a very important time where colleagues make sure that everyone is OKAY. It is the moment we find out who slept last night, who has a kid with a fever, who is not feeling well, who won the lottery. All of this information will help us understand how the workday will proceed.
To be sure, when we talk about the importance of coffee in Italy, we are really talking about the importance of RELATIONSHIP MAINTENANCE.
Less of a commitment than, say, Lunch, coffee is a cheap and quick way (always on your feet, by the way, only sit down for a coffee if you are contemplating marriage or reuniting with an old friend after a twenty-year absence) to reconnect and let the other person know that you are STILL COOL.
You can also use that 5-minute coffee time together to: strategize, thank, get to know, welcome, say goodbye, seal an important deal, or plan a boardroom coup.
The sky is the limit.
Never underestimate the power of coffee in Trieste.
8:30 Empty.
8:45 Empty.
8:58 Empty.
8:59 First employees trickle in.
9:05 The rest of the team arrives. Coats stay on.
9:06 Turn on computer. Wait for the straggler to arrive.
9:07 Entire office leaves and walks to the nearest coffee outlet (machine, or, if lucky, a bar)
9:08-9:30 Empty.
9:31 The actual workday begins.
For an American, this seems strange. After all, we have our coffee at home. It is cheaper, and we can have more of it. That, and, We Know that you are supposed to WORK AT LEAST TWO HOURS to EARN another cup of coffee.
In Trieste, however, that is not how things roll.
You want to try something crazy and see two cultures collide?
I have a fun experiment for you then. Here is what you do:
Tell your Italian colleagues that you already had your coffee and that you will be skipping the morning trip to the coffee machine and see what happens.
Don't have the courage? No problem, because here is what will go down:
Someone will ask you if everything is OK and look at you with concern.
Another person will actually COME BACK and see if you have changed your mind.
Yet another will wonder what he or she did to deserve this snub.
Your office detractor will do a self-confirmation that you think you are better than everyone else.
If you wait a few minutes more, then, like clockwork, YOUR BOSS will stomp into your office and say:
WE ARE WAITING ON YOU! LET'S GO, STECKLEY!
And you will reluctantly get up and follow the other ducks. But, you will summon up your internal rebel to SHOW THEM and NOT ORDER COFFEE! Hmmph! So THAT is what you do.
And guess what. NO ONE EVEN NOTICES. Because your Italian colleagues do not really care about what you drink at the coffee break. They just want you to be there.
Culture lesson!
You see, for Italians, this is a very important time where colleagues make sure that everyone is OKAY. It is the moment we find out who slept last night, who has a kid with a fever, who is not feeling well, who won the lottery. All of this information will help us understand how the workday will proceed.
To be sure, when we talk about the importance of coffee in Italy, we are really talking about the importance of RELATIONSHIP MAINTENANCE.
Less of a commitment than, say, Lunch, coffee is a cheap and quick way (always on your feet, by the way, only sit down for a coffee if you are contemplating marriage or reuniting with an old friend after a twenty-year absence) to reconnect and let the other person know that you are STILL COOL.
You can also use that 5-minute coffee time together to: strategize, thank, get to know, welcome, say goodbye, seal an important deal, or plan a boardroom coup.
The sky is the limit.
Never underestimate the power of coffee in Trieste.
Tuesday, May 3, 2016
Two Triestine Sounds I Forgot
Sound 1
Mah. Definition: Well is that so?! I would have to disagree there.
Example.
"The candidate for Mayor of Trieste declared that he was an honest guy."
"Mah."
Sound 2
Meh. Definition. Nothing Special. It was just ok.
Example.
"How was the new Star Wars movie?"
"Meh."
Mah. Definition: Well is that so?! I would have to disagree there.
Example.
"The candidate for Mayor of Trieste declared that he was an honest guy."
"Mah."
Sound 2
Meh. Definition. Nothing Special. It was just ok.
Example.
"How was the new Star Wars movie?"
"Meh."
Monday, May 2, 2016
Speaking Using Triestine Sounds
Communicating in Trieste is not just about language. It is about attitude. It is also about SOUNDS. I have never found a dictionary of Triestine sounds, so I thought I would build an ad hoc one for you.
I hope this helps!
Sound 1.
"Eh" (like the E in BED) = definition 1. Yes, I told you so. You should have listened to me, but you didn't and now look at you!
Example:
"You were right, Mother-in-Law. Again. I guess I should have listened to you!"
"Eh!"
Definition 2. As an answer to How Are you?
Example:
"Come xe?"
"Eh..." (shake head and look down at the same time to indicate that life is too terrible for words)
Sound 2.
BOH! (pronounced just like it says) = definition. I do not know. But like a teenager would say it, without words. (mm MMM mmm!)
"How did you do on your Math test?"
"Boh!"
Sound 3
Tongue Click at the front of your mouth= definition: no.
Example:
"Did the cilantro come in this week at Curry Mix in Via Torri Bianca?"
Tongue Click (no).
Sound 4
"Madonna!" This is a word but it is used like a SOUND. Definition: Yes!
"Were there a lot of people walking at Barcola last weekend?"
"Madonna!!"
There you go. Your Triestine sound guide. Remember, you can get away without using them, but you should be able to recognize them when you hear them. Ustia!!!
I hope this helps!
Sound 1.
"Eh" (like the E in BED) = definition 1. Yes, I told you so. You should have listened to me, but you didn't and now look at you!
Example:
"You were right, Mother-in-Law. Again. I guess I should have listened to you!"
"Eh!"
Definition 2. As an answer to How Are you?
Example:
"Come xe?"
"Eh..." (shake head and look down at the same time to indicate that life is too terrible for words)
Sound 2.
BOH! (pronounced just like it says) = definition. I do not know. But like a teenager would say it, without words. (mm MMM mmm!)
"How did you do on your Math test?"
"Boh!"
Sound 3
Tongue Click at the front of your mouth= definition: no.
Example:
"Did the cilantro come in this week at Curry Mix in Via Torri Bianca?"
Tongue Click (no).
Sound 4
"Madonna!" This is a word but it is used like a SOUND. Definition: Yes!
"Were there a lot of people walking at Barcola last weekend?"
"Madonna!!"
There you go. Your Triestine sound guide. Remember, you can get away without using them, but you should be able to recognize them when you hear them. Ustia!!!
Italian Birthday Parties
Here is what you need to know if your kid is in Pre-School (I will update you next year for the rules on Elementary).
1. Once your kid enters Scuola Materna,it is all over for you you have officially entered the "Party Circuit."
2. You are expected to go to your kid's birthday parties and stay the entire time.
3. There are a lot of parties.
4. Normally the entire class is invited.
5. Yes, your time will come!
Survival Guide
If you are new in town or at the school, we suggest you go to the parties your kid is invited to. This will help your kid integrate and you can meet other parents, who may actually be nice people. The first year this is especially important. Making friends with other parents means you can occasionally help each other out (you are on a business trip, need a playdate until daddy gets there, that kind of thing). These can be very valuable relationships, particularly if you do not speak the language, or need some help navigating "The System."
Italians are social animals, and they are a high-context culture, which means they read into EVERYTHING and actually find MEANING in things that we can't even begin to understand. Imagine a whole country that sees the world and interprets it like (I was as) a teenage girl. Not going to parties can send a message that you are too good for them or snobby. (The same goes for that morning coffee at work with your colleagues. Don't skip it!!).
Every class has a handful of people who love organizing a group gift. This is great for you! Let someone else buy the present. You can pay them at the party.
The Best Part about Italian Birthday Parties:
You may luck out like we did! Since we put my daughter in a Slovenian school (in Italy), many of the birthday parties we go to are at Osmizzas (woo hoo! The Parents make wine!!) and there is a party within the party-- the kids run around like wild hellions in the courtyard, and the parents sip on terrano wine and chow down on homemade cold cuts and cheese while looking the other way. This is great for those of us whose party wings have been clipped since entering into parenthood!
Last week we went to a party in Repen and there were HORSES for the kids to ride. Not only that, at some point an elderly couple walked by with a couple of the biggest cows I had ever seen. The kids acted as if it were planned by the birthday girl's parents and followed the cows down the street until they realized they were just neighbors walking home after letting their cows hang out on some pasture in the area. Where were the parents, you ask? What kind of traffic can there be with two cows in the street anyway? Back to the wine!
When it is YOUR turn to host:
You may want to find a kid with a birthday around the same time and double up. Other parents will thank you and you can share the expenses. The more the merrier. Hopefully the person you are sharing with has already thought of everything.
Here is what is on the menu, just so you know.
Food
Potato Chips
Cocktail weenies wrapped in some kind of puffed pastry
Baked Ham or cured prosciutto, Cheese, bread
Pizza that someone's mom made or mini round pizzas from the bakery
Open-faced Nutella sandwiches
Drinks
Wine & Beer for the parents
Water
Coke (which all kids will take and then complain that it is too spicy and parents will add water to it)
Orange soda
Juice (that no one will drink)
The Cake
No simple sheet cakes here, no Siree! The cake here is a creamy affair with pudding and whipped something or other, a shot of rum, and a small layer of actual cake. And it is SHOCKINGLY EXPENSIVE and sold by weight. The bakery will recommend you feed each kid a minimum of 5 kilos each and make you feel like the worst parent in the world if you don't (the kids will take one half bite and give the other 4.9999999999 kilos to you and you will finish it because you know how much it cost).
There is one cake per (birthday) kid (you are responsible for ordering the one for your kid and getting it to the venue responsibly). The insulated styrofoam box you transport it in is going to set you back 50 euros as a deposit that you will get back as soon as you return it back to the bakery.
Your party should be after lunch and will last until about dinner time. So put the start time.
3pm, but no need to put the end time, because everyone knows the party is over when the cake comes out...
...unless the party is in an osmizza, in which case the party is over when the Red wine is all gone and the pitcher stops getting filled up.
Then it is time to go.
1. Once your kid enters Scuola Materna,
2. You are expected to go to your kid's birthday parties and stay the entire time.
3. There are a lot of parties.
4. Normally the entire class is invited.
5. Yes, your time will come!
Survival Guide
If you are new in town or at the school, we suggest you go to the parties your kid is invited to. This will help your kid integrate and you can meet other parents, who may actually be nice people. The first year this is especially important. Making friends with other parents means you can occasionally help each other out (you are on a business trip, need a playdate until daddy gets there, that kind of thing). These can be very valuable relationships, particularly if you do not speak the language, or need some help navigating "The System."
Italians are social animals, and they are a high-context culture, which means they read into EVERYTHING and actually find MEANING in things that we can't even begin to understand. Imagine a whole country that sees the world and interprets it like (I was as) a teenage girl. Not going to parties can send a message that you are too good for them or snobby. (The same goes for that morning coffee at work with your colleagues. Don't skip it!!).
Every class has a handful of people who love organizing a group gift. This is great for you! Let someone else buy the present. You can pay them at the party.
The Best Part about Italian Birthday Parties:
You may luck out like we did! Since we put my daughter in a Slovenian school (in Italy), many of the birthday parties we go to are at Osmizzas (woo hoo! The Parents make wine!!) and there is a party within the party-- the kids run around like wild hellions in the courtyard, and the parents sip on terrano wine and chow down on homemade cold cuts and cheese while looking the other way. This is great for those of us whose party wings have been clipped since entering into parenthood!
Last week we went to a party in Repen and there were HORSES for the kids to ride. Not only that, at some point an elderly couple walked by with a couple of the biggest cows I had ever seen. The kids acted as if it were planned by the birthday girl's parents and followed the cows down the street until they realized they were just neighbors walking home after letting their cows hang out on some pasture in the area. Where were the parents, you ask? What kind of traffic can there be with two cows in the street anyway? Back to the wine!
When it is YOUR turn to host:
You may want to find a kid with a birthday around the same time and double up. Other parents will thank you and you can share the expenses. The more the merrier. Hopefully the person you are sharing with has already thought of everything.
Here is what is on the menu, just so you know.
Food
Potato Chips
Cocktail weenies wrapped in some kind of puffed pastry
Baked Ham or cured prosciutto, Cheese, bread
Pizza that someone's mom made or mini round pizzas from the bakery
Open-faced Nutella sandwiches
Drinks
Wine & Beer for the parents
Water
Coke (which all kids will take and then complain that it is too spicy and parents will add water to it)
Orange soda
Juice (that no one will drink)
The Cake
No simple sheet cakes here, no Siree! The cake here is a creamy affair with pudding and whipped something or other, a shot of rum, and a small layer of actual cake. And it is SHOCKINGLY EXPENSIVE and sold by weight. The bakery will recommend you feed each kid a minimum of 5 kilos each and make you feel like the worst parent in the world if you don't (the kids will take one half bite and give the other 4.9999999999 kilos to you and you will finish it because you know how much it cost).
There is one cake per (birthday) kid (you are responsible for ordering the one for your kid and getting it to the venue responsibly). The insulated styrofoam box you transport it in is going to set you back 50 euros as a deposit that you will get back as soon as you return it back to the bakery.
Your party should be after lunch and will last until about dinner time. So put the start time.
3pm, but no need to put the end time, because everyone knows the party is over when the cake comes out...
...unless the party is in an osmizza, in which case the party is over when the Red wine is all gone and the pitcher stops getting filled up.
Then it is time to go.
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