Anyone up for some Gnagno?

Looking for the gift for those kids who have everything? How about a pack of Triestine playing cards and a quick lesson in "Gnagno." Basically, it's the same as UNO but with skinnier cards and funkier suits.

What?!?

You Never knew the Triestini had playing cards of their very own? Ever heard of the game Scopa?

Whaaaaaaa?!

Well, here you are, my friends. YOU ARE WELCOME! 

We are going to the States this week and guess what we are bringing. Yep, two packs of cards (and some Olive Oil and some trinkets).

In Trieste, quality time with family means playing cards. 

You can buy them in most Tabacchino shops (look for the stores with a big T sign outside). It's what the kids here play when they are skipping school. It's what the senior citizens most love and fight about with their friends.

Having a deck of cards can be a good way to make friends and/or enemies. Either way it's a good way to pass the time.

If cards aren't your thing, don't worry, your new Triestine pals will entice  you into a nice game of Tombola (Bingo basically) after Christmas supper, which is also a great way to practice your numbers in Italian.

Hooray For Useless Languages!

Today I went into my classroom and made the following list on the whiteboard. See if you can figure out what it all means.

International Cities:
Dubai, Budapest, Nurnberg, New York, London, Manchester, Paris, Lisbon, Bolzen, Rome, Florence, Bologna, Ancona, Milan, Sao Paolo, Dakar.

Professional Sports:
NBA, World Championship Sailing, World Championship Paratriathlon, Formula Indy.

Other Sectors:
Insurance, Toys, Tunneling, Engineering, Food and Bev, Wine business.

Did you get what they have in common?

My students couldn't figure it out either, so here the solution.

These are all of the cities (actually it is a partial list of just the sexiest ones) that I have visited for work in the sectors above (Formula Indy was not work but thanks to languages). I had all of these opportunities because I studied what other people called "useless languages."

The "useless" languages that led to these experiences were French, Portuguese and Italian.  I have lots of others I am working on with varying degrees of commitment as well: Albanian (specifically Kosovan), Triestino (yes, it's a language), Wolof, Slovenian, and, most recently, Swedish.

What are your useless languages? Who knows what doors they will open for you.

Ask the Diavolo

A very stupid question I ask people when I get to know them is what their favorite pizza is. This is because I am almost always hungry and asking it gives me a good excuse to think about food.

In Italy you get a menu of about 80 varieties (give or take), which is a lot more choice than we normally have in the States, mainly because we order one big pizza and we share it. You only have so much freedom of choice when you have to negotiate with four or five different people (who almost always have strong opinions on the matter).

So this weekend I asked my students one by one what their favorite pizza was. Along with thinking about food, I am also interested in how people make decisions when there are lots of choices. I ask, and then I immediately judge them.

1. Do they decide by not deciding and always get the same?

If it's a Margarita, they are:
a. Under 10,
b. Picky eaters,
c. always on a diet,
d. risk averse
e. all the above

If it's a 4 formaggi they are:
a. Over 30
b. Like strong flavors
c. Have taken risks in the past but are finished with that now
d. are completely aware that their pizza is disastrous for their health but they "deserve" it because they work so hard.

2. Do they get the same pizza for a certain period of time and then move on to a different one?
This person also probably:

a. Reads every book by the same author before moving on to a new one
b. Is a fan of concept albums
c. Wears team colors the day their team plays
d. Is not afraid of commitment, but appreciates variety.


3. Do they purposefully get a different pizza each time?
That could mean he/she is:

a. a Risk taker
b. Respects processes
c. Loves food.
d. Gets bored easily.

4. Do they have the Pizzaiolo decide?
This person is:

a. adventurous
b. a show off
c. non-judgemental
d. has low expectations and therefore is always happy

So that's what I've got on my mind when this one girl says:

"I just love a pepperoni pizza!"

and I am like, "You would love America then, because that is one of the three pizzas that people can normally agree on."

1. Cheese pizza


2. Cheese & Sausage pizza


3. Cheese & Pepperoni pizza


But then the ex-pat in me kicked into gear and I got suspicious.

See, this girl didn't REALLY like pepperoni pizza, because, if she did, she would have said something like:

"I really love, but I don't know how you say in English, the DIAVOLA pizza. How you say... Devil Pizza?"

Because a Diavola is a cheese and pepperoni pizza (they call the pepperoni Piccante, but if that is hot for you, then, well, I probably won't invite you to my house for dinner, like ever).

So I'm like "You mean a PEPPERONI PIZZA?" and I google up an image of a DIAVOLA pizza and she's like:

NO NO NO!! NOT THAT! I MEAN THAT I REALLY LOVE PEPPERONI!

So then I have to come up with a good Equivalent in English. But there isn't one because who the hell likes Bell Peppers on their pizza?! Nobody!! Except for maybe some kook who gets the veggie pizza and they happen to throw some Green Peppers on it (which is the nastiest of the triplets, as sweet-tasting Red and Yellow Bell Peppers are nummy but completely out of place on a pizza).

Then she clarifies. "Yes, I love this pizza because the Peppers are FRIED."

And I think about it, and I want to be empathic and so I say, "Yeah, I guess I can see that, just about EVERYTHING tastes good FRIED."

And I do believe that when I say it. But then the conversation opens up and another guy (orders same pizza for 2-3 months then moves on to the next pizza) says

"If Pepperoni is Pepper, and Salamino piccante is Pepperoni, then how you say Salame?

which opens up a conundrum

Because then I'm like well there's a word called Salami, but I don't know if that is specific or if it's more like Summer Sausage.

Wait, says he. Summer sausage? You mean your cold cuts have seasons?

No, say I. I think Summer Sausage is more like you Friulani slice up and eat with polenta, and I google a picture of Summer Sausage and the class looks at me confused before Margarita girl says:

Let's just say Summer Sausage is meats in general, shall we?

What the hell do I care? I'm a vegetarian. If it's okay with the Italians, it's ok with me.

What the Kids are Listening To These Days

I teach teenagers. This week I asked them what they were listening to and they played this catchy little ditty for me. It was fascinating to see the kids light up when they heard it (and ALL of them knew ALL of the words). They seemed excited that I wanted to hear it and were showing off for me (mouths with braces, chomping gum while they sing, cigarettes behind ears, backpacks zipping because it's the last hour and they are ready to race out but they want to hear the whole thing).

The comments on the youtube page say things like "7 million views? I think 1 million are mine" and "If my mom hears me playing this song one more time she is going to slam my face into the asdlkfjaopiejtroiahsg."

There are subtitles so you can practice singing. There are a few bad words and references to drugs, but nothing you can't handle...

Enjoy!

Speaking Foreign Languages has NOT Made me Smarter

I was just reading an article about how bilingualism makes you smarter (I love those kinds of articles, by the way), and I was just about to feel very smug and intelligent when I remembered what I did yesterday.

I was at the IKEA at Villesse and we were about to leave when little Sweetie and I decided to go to the bathroom before we got into the car for the ride back to Trieste. We are trying to cement in the habit of going even if we don't "have" to, because the urge usually hits us as soon as we get in the car and have missed our chance.

So, we went into the FAMILY BATHROOM. A very sweet idea. Two toidies together. Little toilet for Little Sweetie, Big Toilet for Big Mamma.

Only one problem. No hooks for the purse, no changing table or similar to put the purse, what is one to do?

Easy. Put your purse into the Little Sink for Little Sweetie, which is just next to the Big Sink for Big Mamma.

Yes, GREAT IDEA, especially since it is an Automatic Sink that turns on whenever anything (which should actually be your HAND) blocks that little dark circle that activates the torrent of water.

For the full effect, don't notice it right away. That way you fill up your purse.

Waterlog your electronic devices.

Dump out your purse, swear like a sailor, yell at your kid for mocking you and repeating those terrible words you are allowed to say but She is Not.

Curse IKEA for being so darn green you can't even find a paper towel to throw on the floor to prevent an accident for the very next family to use this amazing facility.

Yes, do that. Hold your extra battery's plug hole close to the vent (which you put on high) in the car. Pray you have half a bag of basmati rice left in your cupboard to put your phone in when you get home, look forward to that 48 hour wait to see if it will work again, blow dry your journal, hang your permesso di soggiorno up to drip dry and have an Excellent Day!