Hello Summer: It's Time for a Grigliata!

It is summer, which means there are changes in Trieste. A new bus schedule shifts public transportation away from school and towards the beach. Nonna stops making Jota and starts making pesto and, as soon as the price for San Marzano tomatoes comes down at the mercato coperto, she will put the camping stove outside and make enough salsa to last the winter. Likewise, you may notice that your social calendar has changed. For if winter in Trieste means pizzas out with friends, the summer is all about the grigliata. 

Something for Everyone

Study the roles closely and see where you can make the best of your talents at the next grigliata!

The Organizer: This person may or may not be the host. The most pro-active of the grigliata roles, it carries two main responsibilities: 

1. Create the whatsapp group announcing the event. Find an appropriate profile photo for the group. This might be an image of an ice-cold beer, glasses clinking, a picture of a grill, or any image that communicates “it’s party time.” 

2. Circulate the List of What to Bring. Only two columns are necessary: Nome and Salato or Dolce.

Grill Maestra/Maestro:  This person throws beers in the fridge and fires up the grill. Later, she (or he, why not?) will confer with other Grill Heads about proper strategy. 

Grill Head: Anyone who stands at or near the grill for more than 5 minutes. This includes the person with a fork ready to eat cevapcici directly off the grill.

By the way, the definition of “Grill” in Italy has a wider range than in America. Almost anything can be classified as a grill in Trieste as long as it is outside and you can cook meat on it. 

Spritz Aperol Fairy: As the name implies, this person brings the ingredients for Spritz Aperol (Prosecco, Orange slices, sparkling water, Aperol) and makes carafes of it until the ingredients run out. Spritz Aperol fairies must arrive punctually as this is a before dinner aperitivo.

Torta Salata Specialist: This person brings the same torta salata to every potluck they attend. A torta salata can come pie-shape like a quiche or it may be a rectangular store-bought crust filled down the center, wrapped like a burrito and baked. T.S. Specialists favor tried and true combinations like: spinach and ricotta, potato and tuna, or Ham and cheese.

The Experimenter: This person, usually the foreigner of the group, is not bound by Italian tradition and food combination rules. In the past, this person’s dish went home untouched. Social media and global food trends have changed the tide, however, making the experimenter’s quirky dishes more attractive.  

The Principe: Every good party needs a little prince, or the cherished male child of someone who is good at making insalata russa, which is basically a fancy version of potato salad decorated with olives and mayonnaise squeezed out of a tube. If the principe has a very loving mother, she will throw in a batch of peperonata and a strucolo de pomi for dessert.

There are many other roles to cover depending on how many people are invited to the grigliata. I mention only the main ones.

A Word about Location

Possible places for the grigliata include, for the lucky ones, the back yard or, even better, the terreno, someone’s piece of land they rent for the year or own specifically for social occasions. A corner of the terreno is reserved for a vegetable garden with radicio picio, tomatoes, and way more zucchini than necessary.

Other grigliata locations include the cemented cortile, the terrazza, or even the roof.

What Goes on the Grill

While in America there are generally two choices: Hamburger or Hot Dog, the Italian grill can hold an unlimited number of meat makes and models -- the bigger the variety the better. Just remember, the Grill Heads will be able to tell if the meat has been frozen and thawed. With this in mind, it is highly recommended to go over the border on the same day and buy fresh. Don't worry about it, though. As a foreigner, no one expects you to know much about food anyway. Let someone else do the errand and contribute to the spesa.  Also, vegetables can and will be grilled. 

The Conversation

Don’t be surprised if the main topic of conversation is the food itself.  Asking for and giving recipes, commenting on various dishes and how you would have made them better differently, where in Slovenia the meat came from and, most importantly, a grigliata is not a grigliata unless someone takes a moment to complain about the fact that there is WAY TOO MUCH FOOD.

Yes, next time we will do better.    

Happy Birthday and Anniversary to Me in Dublin

On June 17, 2023  I celebrated 20 years of living in Italy. It was also my 50th birthday.  I didn't spend it in Italy, though. Instead I had the brilliant idea, which is not sarcasm because it was literally brilliant, to buy concert tickets to see Depeche Mode in Dublin on June 14 and invite my twin brother to meet me there. It took him a while to get back to me so I spread the word a bit and by the time June came along I had convinced my husband and daughter (that was easy), my Bestie from college who lives in Geneva (easier than I thought, I'll have to do that more often), as well as my sister and, finally, my twin brother (they traveled together) to come. The Cherry on top was getting to see my friends who live in Dublin, too. 

My husband, who is the default Cruise Director at our house, thought I should make a plan for our time in Dublin. He said it was only right seeing as it was my birthday and my idea. He wanted to teach me a lesson: get a feel for how much work it is, understand first hand all that time and effort, appreciate him for all those past trips he masterfully designed. It was the least I could do, and as a teacher I could not turn down an opportunity to get schooled, so I got to work.  

Like a DJ carefully preparing that winning wedding playlist, I put together a range of activities, balancing culture and personal growth with crowd pleasers, dinners in interesting venues, and Ukulele Tuesday at the Stag's Head pub.  I liked everything. It was amazing. I did not make one plan that I hated doing. I did not complain once during the entire trip, except when I got mad at Google maps, but I had not clearly communicated my expectations. Other than that it was awesome. 

The party was a blast, too, but that was because I didn't have to plan it. My bestie chose the place, made the reservation, ordered a cake for us plus the entire pub plus breakfast for the next two days. It was marvelous. Maybe not everyone had the time of their life, but, now that I am fifty, I know that each person creates their own happiness, and it is not my problem if they do not. 

In case you're curious, here were the best things about my trip besides being with humans I love. These are in no particular order. 

1) Staying in an apartment in Temple Bar. 

2) A day trip to Belfast. (Giant's causeway, dark hedges, Titanic museum). 

3)  Depeche Mode Concert at Malahide Castle, After-party at Crowbar in Temple Bar. Plus there was a raffle and I won a DM Flask!

4) Dinner at a converted bank. 

5) Lunch at a converted Church. 

6) Lunch at Gravedigger's Pub.

7) National Portrait Gallery.

8) Windmill Recording Studios tour.

9) Ukulele Tuesday at the Stag's Head.

10) Wandering aimlessly and finding live music everywhere. 

There are cheap direct flights to Dublin with Ryan air from Trieste or Venice. As far as prices in Dublin, food and drinks are comparable to what you would pay in Trieste, but hotels and apartments are roughly double. With that in mind, I recommend a visit even if it's for a long weekend.  Just go. I'll meet you there.  

A Pandemic Trip to the U.S.

I know we all have ants in our pants and want to travel, but I just got back from the U.S. two days ago and, well, I have some mixed feelings about the endeavor. 

General Pros: 

1. I saw my family after something like two years (I would have to check my tax forms to say for sure, that is how long it has been).

2. I got to smell Pine Lake (not quite Proust's Madeleine, but a whiff of a Wisconsin lake does bring me back).

3. I ate all the food I missed*. 

General Cons: 

1. I gained 5.5 kilos in two weeks and felt physically horrible most days because I ate and drank everything I knew would make me feel like crap and I did it anyway. Hopefully this situation will correct itself quickly. 

In case you are interested, this is a partial list of the food I consumed while I was in America. When I say I earned those 5.5 kilos, I mean it! Never mind the fact that before and after my trip I was following a vegan diet. In America, my brain  goes into another mode that I cannot control. I never eat meat, but somehow cheese (especially nacho cheese), eggs (over medium), sour cream, and fish (especially canned tuna) make their way into my face. I hope this is something I can change in the future. It is not something I am proud of. Let's just say one reason I live in Europe is to save myself from myself!

Corn on the cob, Nachos with everything (cheese, onions, beans, salsa, guacamole, sour cream), Bagels and cream cheese (one bag each of: Everything bagels, Onion bagels, Plain bagels), Oreos (normal, double stuf-- my niece, Bridget, reminds me that these are vegan), Doritos (Nacho Cheese, Cool Ranch), Tortilla chips (regular, black corn), Combos (Regular, Pretzel), Lee's Deli (tuna with Onions, lettuce, tomato), Racine Pizza (Infusino's, Derango's), Panera soups (Tomato, Cheddar broccoli) and sandwiches (tuna with onions, lettuce, tomato), Culver's (fried cheese curds, onion rings, fries), peanut butter cups from Trader Joe's, every I.P.A. beer made in Wisconsin (and Michigan and Indiana with special accolades to my old friends and neighbors at Lakefront Brewery in Riverwest in Milwaukee, and Zombie Double I.P.A. that Ed's friends turned me on to), breakfast at Derango's on West Boulevard/Washington Avenue repeatedly, Meli's once (I would call these meals "Brunches" except I also ate lunch every single time), grilled haloumi, and taco dip (Pick n' Save and Home Made).  

2. I had forgotten that Wisconsin people are passive agressive and never say what they think or want. It takes a couple days to get used to. The main trick is knowing that when they (we) say: "YOU must be/think/feel/want/need _________," they (we) actually mean: "I am/think/feel/want/need __________," and when they (we) stop talking to you for an extended period of time, don't worry. There is nothing you can do except ride it out. In Wisconsin, we believe that if something bothers us or offends us, it is our fault for being too sensitive or thin-skinned. We take our time to get over it. When we talk to you again it means we are all cool like nothing happened. 

              

3. Everything was expensive. Wow, even in Racine, Wisconsin. 

Travel Considerations:

Booking my flight to the States was cheap but...

1. My trip got cancelled twice and changed once. The final trip went from Venice to Frankfurt to Montreal to Chicago, each with its own rules (see below). 

2. Baggage was not included and cost an additional 70 dollars per checked bag per direction. 

3. My outgoing trip went through Canada when the U.S./Canada border was closed which complicated things A LOT. 

Covid Rules were different wherever we went: 

1. On the way out, Germany was cool with a vaccine, but I had to get a Covid test anyway because the U.S. did not recognize vaccines. Kids not vaccinated were required to have a Covid test for Germany, Canada and the U.S. 

 

2. Coming back, Germany no longer required a Covid test for children below age 12 (the rule changed the day of our return) but Italy did. Germany started requiring  a Covid test for vaccinated people (again, the rule changed the day of our return) but Italy did not. You are expected to keep up with these changes by checking every few days. 

3. Both the U.S. and Italy required lengthy digital forms with tons of details about Covid tests, flights, intentions, etc. that could not be filled out on the fly and were difficult to fill out using a cell phone. Worse, they did not save your information during the process so if you were missing anything and the website timed out you had to do the entire form over again.  

 

4. In the States it was almost impossible to get a Covid test without being a resident. They wanted insurance information or the government would pay for it if if you were considered an "uninsured resident." They did not allow you to pay for the test, which just felt wrong somehow. At any rate they couldn't guarantee they could get me the results in time (for a molecular test they said "24-48 hours" but the results are only valid for 72 hours). 

The easiest way we found was to make an appointment for a rapid test at the airport (validity 24 hours minimum, 48 hours max depending on the destination country)  and get there 30 minutes before you were supposed to check in (which was extended from two to three hours because of Covid documentation). That way you pay online at the time of reservation, take the test and get results via email within 15-20 minutes, go to your gate and you are good to go. 

When I arrived in the States on July 14, few people wore masks in stores and restaurants. There were signs everywhere saying masks were "optional for vaccinated customers" but the non-vaxxed were not masking up as far as I could tell (something about personal freedom?). By the time I left, people were "encouraged" to mask up again (and those who believed Covid existed did it) because of the Delta variant, which was hitting even fully vaccinated young and healthy people and putting many of them in the hospital. According to a nurse friend (my mom's next door neighbor), there were 12 people in the hospital in Racine the day before I left, and they were all vaccinated. She mentioned that she and her colleagues were scared. The week before there were zero cases in the hospital. 

The news continues to say "Breakout cases" are rare- This may be the case. My feeling that they are more common than we are being told may be a result of the Availability Bias, but I still don't know. It makes me a little scared, too, I admit.  

All in all, I am happy I went to the States, but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone else right now (too much hassle, high risk) unless they have a good reason that does not include tourism. The preparation to get your documents in order before you leave takes a lot of time and effort even if passport control and customs are much easier in transit. 

Planes are full because there are less flights, you have to wear masks at all times (and different countries require different types of masks!), airports do not keep people distanced. Once you get to your destination, you may find that your favorite places and people are not available because of Covid restrictions. It's just not a happy time to travel. 

Other than that, I hope you are having a good summer! 

When Writing is All We Have

I have been spending a lot of time in my journal over the last few months. The writing is mostly scattered and mindless, but sometimes what we need is a little "sfogo," as they would say here in Trieste. Today seems like as good a day as any other to give you an update of our Covid Status.

1. Cases are higher than ever, variants are more serious, businesses are opening.  

2. People are either for the vaccine (we want to travel) or against it (we are the government's guinea pigs). It's hard to get whether you like it or not (unless you have age on your side or you work in health care or you are a teacher). 

3. We can leave our municipalities (I think) without a permission slip, but not the region. At some point it was okay to travel to Spain, however. 

4. You don't have to wear a mask when you run on the bike path.

5. If you need to get your bike fixed, good luck. Everyone in Trieste has a bike now (that needs fixing). During the lockdown you could leave your municipality if you walked or rode a bike. People really wanted to leave their municipalities. 

We are on day 4 of a downgrade. We are now Yellow instead of Orange. The only problem is that every time they change our color (and therefore what we can and can't do), they also change the definition of what that color means. When I say They, I can assure you that I have no idea anymore who They are. 

Is it the head of the region? The Prime Minister? 

The whole thing is a little confusing.  

Life in Trieste after Covid

There is a certain serenity that comes with getting over Covid, and getting on with life afterwards. Luckily my case was not dramatic. It sucked, yes, but I did not end up in the hospital. Now that it's all over, I realize that I had been operating with a baseline stress level that was through the roof, but I had no idea. 

Now that the guilt of maybe someday infecting someone else or inadvertently creating a Covid hotspot single-handedly is past, I can finally relax and get back to work on what is really important. I'm done being busy being busy. 

Now it's time to concentrate on doing the real work that brings more peace, more serenity, more joy, and less of the rest of it. 

No more fear, no more stress. Time to move on.  

Dear Reader I have Covid

 Yes, Covid has come to get me. I could feel the circle tightening around us for several weeks before it actually got here. While the first wave seemed far away, this time we were starting to know people who had it. Most claimed to be "asymptomatic" almost to the point of suggesting that getting Covid was not the big deal it was hyped up to be. 

Let me clear things up for you.  Covid is no fun, or at least not for me. 

For the first week of it, my husband and I were in denial. We were mostly in bed, incapacitated by intense body aches and a pounding head. "Take the tachnipirina and rest" was the advice we were given by our doctor, so that is what we did. My husband had a mild fever, but I had none, so there was not one part of me that suspected it was Covid. In fact, the sneaky thing about Covid is that it changes the rules as it goes along and depending on whose body it inhabits. In our case, my husband and I had completely different symptoms. While my Covid decided to invade my lungs during week two, my husband never even got a cough. While his colleauge (who was also diagnosed) had a high fever for several days but no other symptoms, there was only one day where I had anything even close to a fever. It was at such a low level that in the old days I would have gone to work.

After one full week of feeling like crap, our doctor ordered a test for us. The call came the next day and we were told we had an appointment in 30 minutes at the drive-thru testing site in the Park of San Giovanni. I was teaching online at the time and had to scramble to get someone else to cover my classes. Apparently when they call you, there is no negotiating. My husband took the call. 

During week two we kept our daughter home as well, even though there is no written protocol covering parents who are sick but not yet diagnosed. This was a personal decision. We had been sick too long for it to be an ordinary flu. In the end our doctors said we did the right thing. Our daughter has still not been tested and she continues to have no symptoms. 

Being stuck in the house has not been too dramatic, although our dog has definitely suffered from a lack of long walks. Our daughter has been the main dog walker since we have been home, so that can't be fun for her, either. 

People have been calling to offer help getting groceries, which we appreciate, although most of the people who have called have been more concerned with whether or not they should get tested because they were in contact with someone who had contact with someone who had contact with soeone who was maybe in contact with us. We just tell them to talk to their doctor about their concerns. 

If all goes well, we should get tested again sometime next week, but if we don't, apparently we are free twenty days from onset of symptoms. I'm not sure this will change anything. Trieste is going into lockdown again starting Monday, so we may be free just in time to enjoy more time at home. 

At any rate, this is our story. Stay safe, everyone!

Guest Post: Trieste Staycation

Today's post is the second in a series of guest posts that explore Trieste by the people who live here.  It was inspired by the lockdown period during the first wave of Covid-19 and the idea of the "Staycation" and looking at our city from a different perspective. 

The following post is by Susanne Seghayer.   

When I attended college, I studied literally every single day. In the best-case scenario, I had only one week to rest and charge my batteries. During that week I did not make exotic travels, I just tried to relax and explore as much as I could my hometown, Trieste. Staycation was my routine during my college days.

When I was a sophomore, during the last days of July, I was enjoying my staycation with my sister. We decided to have lunch at one of our favorite Japanese restaurants in town but when we were near it, we realized that it was not lunch time yet. I offered her to visit my favorite museum in Trieste, the Revoltella museum. It is the modern and contemporary art gallery of Trieste and one of the most prestigious museums in the city. I’ve visited this art gallery several times and I have many personal memories linked to this place. For instance, when I attended elementary school, I went to visit this museum with my class, and I started to love art thanks to those visits. I had a strong desire to return to this place again especially because I was finally able to appreciate contemporary and modern art, my favorite ones.

The museum is built in the house of an important figure in Trieste history, the baron Pasquale Revoltella. He was crucial in the economic growth of Trieste during the 19th century and was an art and science lover too. The museum is divided into two parts. In one part, you can explore the house of Revoltella and in the other the art gallery. The latter is developed into 3 floors in which there are mainly paintings from the 18th and 19th centuries but the most important and relevant works of art are from the 20th century. On the top floor you can find paintings and sculptures made by some of the most prestigious and talented contemporary Italian artists such as Pomodoro, Fontana, Casorati and Vedova. 

When I was in the museum with my sister it was like being miles away from home. We were totally captured by the beauty of the place and by the amazing works of art that were exposed. It was like entering in a pyramid where your perception of space and time are completely different from the rest of the world. Contemplating art gave me a sense of peace and the feeling that I was on a completely different planet.

On the top of the building there is a panoramic terrace where you can see the gulf of Trieste. During summer evenings they often organize happy hours and concerts where you can relax and elaborate all the beauty that you watched during the visit.

I think that the secret of a rewarding staycation is trying to see your town through the eyes of a tourist, of someone who visits your city for the first time. You need to look at things that you have seen for years with a new glance, trying to observe details that you usually miss and surprise yourself with the beauty that every city hides inside. Every town has angles and places that you usually don’t visit and discovering them gives you the feeling of exploring something new and exciting. From my experience we tend to visit more other cities than ours. I know people who are born and raised in Rome that have not visited important galleries and monuments in Rome such as the Saint Peter church! Monuments that people from distant parts of the world come to Rome to see.

Another trick for an exciting staycation is exploring your city with different friends and members of your family. Each of them has particular interests and passions and they will open your mind showing you the sights that they love and are interested in. For instance, if you have a friend who is fond of science, you can go with him to visit the Immaginario Scientifico in Grignano and take also a swim there. If you have a relative that loves art you can go with him to visit monuments, churches and palaces that you usually do not look at with attention and interest. In Trieste there are palaces of different architectural styles and visiting them with an expert of art is such an incredible experience. Try it to believe!

So this year, explore your city, spend time with your friends and family, take photos and make new memories in YOUR town! Enjoy!

Guest Post: Stumbling is Worth it in Trieste

Today's post is the first in a series of guest posts that explore Trieste by the people who live here.  It was inspired by the lockdown period during the first wave of Covid-19 and the idea of the "Staycation" and looking at our city from a different perspective. 

The following post is by Marino Michelazzi.   

I usually stumble. A few years ago, I was walking with my youngest daughter. We were talking, smiling. Suddenly I felt something hit my tibia. A moment later I was lying on the ground, in the middle of the street and a car was coming. My daughter was screaming: “Papà!!!”

 I felt ashamed and so, in spite of the pain, I quickly jumped up and stood on my feet again. “What happened?” she asked. I looked back over my shoulder. There was a simple block of concrete near the sidewalk. It had always been there, but I did not see it because I was looking up at the top of a building, as usual. 

My family says that sooner or later I am going to end up under a car and in the hospital if I am lucky. Maybe. In any case, I cannot get rid of my good/bad habit of looking up at the top of buildings and observing the architecture.

In Trieste I stumble a lot. Trieste is not a city with a lot of astonishing monuments or important public buildings, and it is not famous for mesmerizingly modern architecture. It has several beautiful buildings and a peculiar spirit, but it is not Rome, Venice, or Florence. Nevertheless, in Trieste, you can stumble with every step, because there is a lot to look at up there.  

 

Saba Says

Umberto Saba, our most famous Triestino poet, wrote “Trieste has a surly grace…” (“Trieste ha una scontrosa grazia…”). I recognize that surly grace wandering around Trieste (which is a city of distinct neighborhoods) just outside of downtown. There, you can find unexpected hidden jewels in the architecture.

 

First Stop

For example, let me take you down the boulevard we call Viale XX Settembre. At the third cross-street turn right. This is called via Timeus. It is a narrow street with a continuous flow of cars and two narrow sidewalks. Pedestrians do not walk here, they run towards their destinations. Nobody takes the time to look up, but I invite you to! Stop in front of the building at n.4. Don’t worry about the flow of people, look up and admire the beauty.

The ground floor is painted ochre-yellow and the three floors above are light yellow with fake grey columns. Above the doorway there is a bas-relief showing what I think is two lovers standing on a pile of wood, amid other figures. It looks like they are going to be burned alive. I can’t tell you why. It’s a Mystery.

The first floor has a balcony with an elegant railing. But the real surprise is that at every floor, on the sides of the windows there are two classical-style niches in the wall with statues in them: two young women holding flowers or jars.

Second Stop

Don’t fall behind, now! We’re not done!

Let’s return along Viale XX Settembre. When we reach via Rossetti turn left. After two hundred meters, we encounter the entrance of the park of via Giulia. It is not Central Park but, anyway, it is a peaceful place with high trees, where kids can play, and older people can rest on cozy benches. We must walk to the opposite side. Look up please. It is an ordinary building like all the buildings near it. There are five light yellow floors above the ochre-yellow ground-floor. I am guessing that no building in the neighborhood, or even Trieste, has the same type of balconies: on first floor there is a small balcony in the middle,  on the third floor there are two little balconies near the sides. The Second and fourth floors have long balconies that cover the entire length of the façade. If you observe this strange railing closely, you will notice the elaborate floral motif in Secession style (do you remember Klimt?).

Maybe this is the reason the other buildings seem like walls of stone, while this one seems to speak to the high trees of the park.

Third Stop

 Don’t linger please, we have just one more stop for today. Saba continues:

“(Trieste) If liked, it is like a boy, harsh and greedy, with blue eyes and hands too big to give a flower…. “

(“se piace, è come un ragazzaccio aspro e vorace, con gli occhi azzurri e mani troppo grandi per regalare un fiore”)

We have to work for that flower by walking to the neighborhood of Roiano. Let’s take via Boccaccio, a lonely street with a gentle slope at the beginning. At one point, it opens up to form a large square with one side completely open towards the railway station and, beyond, the sea. In front of us, at one corner of the square, we find what we are looking for. The building has two sides that form a 90-degree angle. The less visible side is the same as the other facades, which is not surprising as they were built in the same era.

The other side, however, gives us something never before seen in Trieste. There are no walls dividing inside and outside. The spaces between the supporting columns, the floor to the ceiling are wood-framed glass windows. All four floors of the façade are made of glass. Remember, it is not a modern building made of steel and glass. It was built over a century ago with cut stone and, perhaps, one of the first attempts with concrete, in Trieste.

If take a look inside the rooms they all seem like artists' studios.

Saving the Rest for Another Day

We are coming to the end of our walk. Now we understand why Saba closed his poem with this:

“…like a lover, with jealousy “ (“…come un amore con gelosia”) Trieste loves its inhabitants with a widespread beauty, but is sometimes reticent to show off the gems. I am sure that if we take another walk tomorrow, however, we will stumble upon other hidden treasures once again.    

 

Culture and Connecting Again

My plan to get the hell out of Racine, Wisconsin, came to fruition a year ahead of time when I got accepted to an exchange program while I was in High School. I spent my Senior year in Liège, Belgium attending a public school for girls and living with three different host families, spending roughly 3 months in each. This was in 1990 and living abroad back then was a completely different beast compared to now. There were no cell phones or email just yet so communicating with home was all about crackly phone calls, writing letters on onion-skin paper, and trips to the post office. I was limited to one collect call home per month because it cost a lot and the quality was terrible. I spent most days writing long and detailed letters about my life in Belgium to anyone whose address I had remembered to record in my address book. The mail arrived twice a day in Belgium, and my goal was to receive mail in both deliveries. I wrote about 10-12 detailed letters a day.

Besides the endorphin kick I got every time the mail came and there was something in it for me, letters helped me cope with homesickness, process my experience, and make sure life didn’t go on too much without me back home. Every time I met someone I liked, we exchanged addresses and wrote letters to each other. I told my pen pals things I couldn’t tell anyone else in a million years. Letters were the magic stuff of procrastination and not paying attention in class. I loved them.

Mix tapes were the sophisticated cousin of the hand-written letter, the soundtrack to our teenage years. My friend Peter, a prolific mix-tape maker, remembers hours in the basement recording them, trying to create “the perfect score.” Sometimes they took days or weeks to compile, one song at a time. The choice of tracks was painstaking and planned. There was no internet then so you had three choices for collecting music: records, including scratches and skips, other cassettes, or the radio. You could also punctuate them with your own recorded voice like a radio D.J. or a Henry Rollins spoken words album. They took time to make and getting one was special. You didn’t just listen to them, either, you learned them.

Nikolai was in Belgium that year, too. He lives in Strasbourg and I live in Trieste. We try to speak every few weeks even if we both prefer letters. The first part of the conversation is mechanical, the things we perceive we are supposed to talk about. Then comes the good stuff along with a sigh of relief. What books are you reading and what did you think of them? What are you writing? “I am working more on my letter writing,” he says. He still sends post cards, and long letters when he has something complicated to say. I call him, but I wish for letters.

For a while, blogging was a good alternative to letter writing. It helped me process my experiences and gave me a satisfying boost when I pushed “publish.” I could go back and manipulate or delete what I wanted, and there was no mental anguish like there was when waiting for someone to reply to a letter. But blogging triggered the voice of my inner imposter. Why are you writing? You’re wasting your time. Nobody cares about the crap you’re putting out there. You should be doing something that brings in some money! Loser!

I never expected that people would actually read anything I wrote, so when they did, I felt ashamed and inadequate, which made me write less. I worried what people would think of me.

The humble, heart-revealing letter has disappeared, I lamented on a regular basis, along with that special connection between writer and reader. Can friendships be as deep without them? Has the intimacy and vulnerability of writing down our feelings and sharing our deepest secrets with that special person who is lucky enough to be on the receiving end gotten lost in the abyss? These were the questions I had been pondering before February 2020 when life changed forever in my tiny village on the outskirts of Trieste. The country went into lock-down because of the arrival of the novel Corona virus.

We were not allowed to go to work, or even leave the house without meeting strict guidelines and bringing complicated signed declarations with us detailing where we were going and what we were doing when we should have been home not getting infected. After a few weeks, we were all working from home and distances that used to seem immense got tiny.

I loved teaching online. I started making regular contact with friends from Racine, Wisconsin I hadn’t spoken to in years and others who were in Belgium with me. We met on Zoom and WhatsApp and laughed like old times. They came into the virtual classroom with me as guest speakers. I was in the International throngs of online working and my oldest and dearest friends were right there with me. Our friendships, in turn, went deeper.  

We dispensed with small talk. We stopped asking each other what we did after college, where we work, who we’re married to and how many kids we have. We started asking the important questions. What are you reading? What do you think of what’s going on in the world? What is important to you? And we were talking to each other the way we used to write to each other. The heart of the hand-written letter was back.

We also started creating together. Culture was never as important as it became during that lockdown period and since. Like letters had saved me during my year abroad in high school, culture became my new survival tool: creating art, reading about it, watching plays online, writing. Culture and creativity keep us alive and connected. When you can’t leave your house, culture is what pulls you through. Tanja, my bestie from Racine, and I are doing a writing course together to unleash our inner artists. Laura, who was with me in Belgium and lives and teaches in New York state, comes into my Zoom classroom once a week and we teach and learn together. We also started writing a play about being exchange students. Could it be that it took a pandemic and a complete shock to the way we live and work and communicate to remember how to connect again from the heart and make it matter?  

Enjoy your Staycation!!

Here's an update on what's happening in Trieste. Things have been pretty quiet and almost (dare I say) normal for the last few weeks. We can go out freely, we have to take our masks with us in case we can't safely distance, and many stores, especially grocery stores, require them. Otherwise things are like before but different. There is less traffic but no one seems to mind.

Our habits have changed. We eat out less often than we did before the pandemic. We are not making any travel plans, either, which we normally would have hammered out months ago. Daughter Eva is the exception. She has had two weeks of camp so far, a day camp just over the border in Koper to learn how to play tennis, and this week she is at sleepaway camp in Tolmin, Slovenia. She is living the river life, rafting, kayaking, playing with bugs, taking pictures with an old-fashioned digital camera because she doesn't have a phone. It was a lot easier to get into these programs this year since we signed up before we even knew if they would open up the borders again (they did, yay!). 

Socially, we are confused. The neighbors we quarantined with no longer talk to us and we are not sure why. That felt strange at first but we are not that sorry for some reason. We still say hi when we water the plants.

We are no longer required to show any form of affection to anyone if we don't want to. With other people we truly miss we throw our arms around each other and say YOU ARE WORTH THE RISK! and I DO NOT HAVE A FEVER, I PROMISE. We listen for a moment, no cough. 

Friends from the past have come back, the office no longer seems to need us there so much, people kind of like classes on Zoom. Some of us have taken up new hobbies, lifestyles, diets, started cultivating a creative life. My conversations with people are deeper than they were before when we were too busy to feel anything.

Culture has saved me from despair. I have watched a million plays I couldn't see before. I have read everything I could get my hands on that was different from what I was reading before. I started drawing and writing again and appreciating other peoples' art where possible. 

What is important has not changed but my relationship to it has shifted. Connecting to other people and creating things have become more urgent.  I feel thankful for that. 

We make no plans. Anything can happen between now and then. We live for the present. We are staying home this summer. 

What Happened to My Early Retirement?

Week One was BLISS. Really. It was so amazing. I was like This is what it must feel like to be retired. I loved every second of it. The thought of ever having to leave my house again was far, far away. I felt like a bear and all I wanted to do was hibernate.

Week Two was a little tiny bit worrisome, but still BLISS. I felt guilty for being so happy. I tried to spend my time connecting with people I hadn't heard from in a while. It was friendship maintenance week. I was creative. I dug up old projects that were hiding under new projects (that I wasn't working on either) and I worked on them. I felt alive.

Week Three was like MY HOUSE IS A MESS. I CAN'T LIVE THIS WAY. I MUST CLEAN UNTIL MY HANDS BLEED. This was the week I fell into the Double Standard that people who work from home suffer from. If you are at home rather than in another physical space called "work," you are expected to do EVERYTHING in the house, that's just how it is. No one else will lift a finger. Everything that is not right at home becomes your fault, too. And the worst part is that since you feel so guilty for not being somewhere else, you take the blame for it ALL and do everything in your power to make things right again. It actually works for a couple of days but it's completely unsustainable.

Week Four was like HOLY SHIT IF EVERYTHING IS CLOSED WHERE IS ALL THIS WORK COMING FROM? Are these people going to pay me?!

Week Five was like MY HOUSE IS MESSY AGAIN AND I AM ALWAYS ON A DAMN VIDEO CONFERENCE.

Week Six was like I NEED A SUBSCRIPTION TO THE NEW YORK TIMES because they removed the paywall for the Corona Virus stuff but I WANT TO READ ABOUT SOMETHING, ANYTHING ELSE!!

Summary:

1) I am working more now than I did before, when I was actually leaving the house.
2) If it's in the house, it's MY problem now, that includes all the extra cooking and cleaning. Ugh.
3) Every time I try to expect the worst, something seemingly NOT BAD happens, like I get more work.
4) The Quiet I crave is difficult to put on the calendar, but it must be scheduled! 

My new goal for the weekend is to actually have a weekend.  Only one video conference scheduled. That is huge.

Take care! Stay safe!

When Enough People Want Something

The best explanation for the craziness that is this world-wide period of quarantine came from my friend Sara.

This is what she said:

"When enough people want the same thing... they make it happen!

Kids didn't want to go to school anymore. They were fed up.

Adults didn't want to go to work anymore. They wanted to simplify their lives. They were tired of all of those commitments and appointments.

Nature  just wanted to take a breath of fresh air."

So here we are.

Boredom is the new Uncertainty

We have lost count of how many days we have been at home. I suggest you do the same. You are not in prison so there's no reason to keep track of the days on the wall. You can check your calendar later. Just try to feel normal. Get up, get dressed, get those shoes laced up. You're not home sick, you're not on vacation. Treat the week days as weekdays and you will be fine... until the weekend comes and all of our good deeds and habits go to shit.

We don't feel the effects on Saturday or Sunday, mind you. Our problem is Monday. It used to be because we had to go to work or to school after a pleasant weekend. Now the problem is getting deprogrammed after 48-hours of non-stop Netflix and social media and all of the delicious decadence we do not allow ourselves during the week.

On Mondays, our brains don't remember how to function autonomously. My independant and usually interesting 9-year-old says: "There's NOTHING to DO!" and my own brain cries for the dopamine rush of the down-swipe refresh. Seriously, it takes an entire day to get over it.

Some may suggest taking ourselves off the during-the-week social media/T.V. diet, but we've tried that. It only makes us into zombies who sleepwalk through weekdays, too. It's not pretty. Taking away Netflix, etc. during the weekend just feels cruel, especially since we are not free to roam around anymore.

Instead of being a meanie on weekends (isn't 5 out of 7 enough??) I hope instead for a major internet outage that would force us to take up old-fashioned forms of entertainment: Hey! Let's work on that latchhook pillow for your room! Who's up for a million-piece puzzle? Monopoly anyone?

They say boredom is necessary for creativity, so I keep that in mind as the complaints start rolling in at breakfast and intersperse throughout the day. Sometime after lunch when the room is clean, the homework is done, and 30 minutes of book have been read, Little Sweetie asks for an Exacto knife and if she can have the cardboard box which, before the weekend, housed beer. What a relief as Boredom is replaced by Danger and a Vision for the Perfect House for (creepy) LOL dolls, a mom's signal that the weekend is finally over. 

Corona Virus and Crazy Information

Yesterday in my post, I forgot to add one of the most glaring Cognitive Biases out there when it comes to how people are reacting to the Corona Virus. In his book, Thinking Fast and Slow,  Daniel Kahnemann calls it W.Y.S.I.A.T.I. (What you See is All There Is).

We make decisions based on the information we have in front of us. Here is a nice, simple explanation for it.

Last night my husband gets a strange message from a friend of his that was forwarded from someone else forwarded from someone else forwarded from someone else who APPARENTLY is an Italian in RUSSIA. The dialogue goes something like this (roughly translated):

"I am Antonio from Italy and I live in Russia and here I am in Pharmacy (which is supposedly in Russia but is spelled PHARMACY on the sign) in Moscow and I am so surprised to see that Corona Virus has existed here for 19 years and there is vaccine for it since 18 years. HOW CAN IT BE THAT IN ITALIA so many people DIE when HERE IN RUSSIA they have cure??"

WHAAAAAAA?

So I say, are you friends with Russian Bots, honey? Because that is some wacked out crazy stuff you're getting there. Does Paolo (friend who sent it who normally sends dippy jokes on Whatsapp) think this is real? Is it really Paolo? Like, maybe you need to have a talk with him or completely eliminate him from your  life? 

This is the perfect example of when NOT to rely on the WYSIATI cognitive bias.
How many people are getting this junk and believing it?

Then, today on the front page of one of the many newspapers I obsessively click through to fill my cup up with morning angst there is a picture of blissfully ignorant spring-break-people having chicken fights on a beach in Florida surrounded by a half-moon of spectators joyfully taking in this entertaining sight in the midst of a global pandemic.

My first thought: Really? Chicken fights? They still do those? The most un-fun game in the world at the best of times... 

The photo is juxtaposed with people in full-on battle-the-virus gear in an ICU somewhere in a slide show (which means it was either the Washington Post or the New York Times) to highlight the stark contrast between the believers and the Corona Virus WHO? folks.

What would the conversation with the chicken fighters sound like?

Interviewer (crazy enough to be out instead of home like the Weather Channel people who report from the eye of a tornado): I see you are partying on the beach rather than taking the necessary precautions of social distancing in order to inhibit the spread of the Corona Virus. How do you explain your actions?

Possible Answers:

1. "I don't know anyone who has Corona Virus, so I'm ok."
2.  "We're all going to get it at some point, might as well get it over with while I'm young!"
3. "This may be the last time I can party for a LONG TIME and I want to support local drinking establishments."
4. "Corona Virus is a hoax"

Then there is the only CREDIBLE (but IMPROBABLE) answer...

5.  "I'm sorry but my pre-frontal cortex isn't quite developed enough for me to see the possible consequences of my actions. I'm a little weak when it comes to executive function. After all, I am a few years shy of 25, when I hope to reach full maturity!" 

What is the lesson here?

How about we take all of the extra time we have because we are staying home and getting our work done so much faster because we don't have to spend all day looking busy anymore and start thinking and reasoning again and making sure we have information from credible sources before we make up our minds about things?

Trust Science, people.

Life under Corona Virus Lockdown

I have been getting a lot of questions about what it is like to be in Italy right now because of the Corona Virus situation. As it spreads around the world, the questions have become more frequent. I am assuming this is because looking at our situation provides a glimpse into a possible future, like how the Hubble Telescope helps us understand the past. Daniel, my friend in Sao Paolo, also under lockdown, but for less time, calls me his "laboratory guinea pig" who shows him what he can look forward to in the next few weeks. He's not the only one with this idea.

Here in Trieste, we are now in almost complete lockdown. This means that we are not allowed to leave our houses or apartments, that is our default position. There are some exceptions to this rule:

1) Supermarket
2) Pharmacy
3) Newstand
4) Dog walking
5) Work, if absolutely necessary

In all cases, you must have a printed document with you which is downloadable online on the government website. As of this writing, this is the latest document. If you are walking your dog, you are expected to be very close to home, as in you could point to it if you were stopped by the police.

Which comes to my next point, you can be stopped and questioned by the police. They are giving out very large fines to people who are found not following the rules, which have been expanded just two days ago to prohibit outdoor sports and, get this, walking alone.

The question arises, then, just how can the virus spread if you are walking alone or out running on your own? The simple answer is that it's not about the activities in themselves, it's about how people interpret the regulations in creative ways so they can get out of the house. See, nobody likes being required to stay home. In English we say "You give an inch they take a mile." Supermarkets are now closed on Sundays because people were organizing meetings with friends there, even when they weren't shopping. For some reason, this was happening mostly on Sundays.

For more on why it's so hard to keep people on lockdown, this Ted talk gives us some interesting insights.  I also believe that another reason people try to get away with not following the rules has to do with cognitive bias. For example, the Optimism Bias  states that people are more likely to assume that bad things will happen to other people and therefore underestimate their own risks. We all like to think that we will be the exception to the rule. I certainly do not intend on getting Corona Virus, but that doesn't stop me from staying home and washing my hands and taking precautions against danger, however.

Another cognitive bias we are seeing in the U.S. news, for example, is the Confirmation Bias, which states that we tend to heed information that confirms what we already believe. If you buy into a source of information that has been telling you that the Corona Virus is fake and that it will get cleaned up in a few days, it will be very difficult for you to listen to other sources, even if they are credible and fact-based. This is why so many move ahead with their same routines even if they are being instructed to do differently.

If I can say something about my experience: it's not as bad as I thought it would be.

In Italy, the fact that so many of us have had to switch to working from home on short notice has brought out the best in people. It has forced us to acknowledge that there are other ways of doing things and that the "old way" is not always the best way. Those of us who teach have found that our students are more engaged, for example. Perhaps this is because they can sleep a little longer in the morning and we are using "their" tools to reach them. Other friends in jobs who never expected to be able to work from home are finding that performance indicators are off the charts for the same reasons. There is something about being able to work from home in your own way that is helping people work better. I think the idea of "putting your hours in" has been replaced with "getting the job done" in however much time it takes you. For some of us this means working late at night or early in the morning, and on weekends, but you don't hear people complaining about it. At least I haven't.

That being said, I have colleagues who are not adapting as well to this change. They seem to hope that things will go back to "normal" (the way it used to be) in April when this lockdown situation is supposed to expire, even though it is more likely that the situation will continue into summer. They will eventually come around, I suspect, but everyone has to take their time to process what is happening. It is not easy as none of us has ever experienced anything like this.

Other positive things about being on lockdown.

1) My house is clean. I don't know when the bug hit (it was not immediate), but I am a tornado of cleanliness and I am totally digging it!

2) More time with my new puppy. When we were getting her we were worried we wouldn't be able to handle the rigorous meal and walking schedule, but that all changed the day before we brought her home. I have the happiest puppy on earth!

3) More time with my daughter. We work together at the kitchen table. She has about 5 hours of homework to complete per day. She is in fourth grade and has to meet with her class and her teachers on Zoom for 45-minute sessions about three times a week. She would be happy to do this forever. Keeping track of her work and creating a schedule took a couple of weeks. On weekdays she has to get up at 7:30 and get dressed. At first it is hard to communicate to kids that it is a school day even if you are at home. There is no TV allowed during the week. TV and Netflix (and youtube) are reserved for the weekend. She is allowed two group chat sessions on Whatsapp with her girlfriends from her class (five of them total) on mom's phone per day: one after lunch and one in the evening for about 10-20 minutes each time. The moms agreed to keep it limited to those two sessions and the girls were happy that no chatting would go on without them. No one wants to exclude or be excluded.

4) I love my house and I am happy here. I organize my time so I can do everything I need to do and I don't waste time waiting for busses anymore (I don't have a car). This lack of freedom makes me feel more free.

5) We are saving a ton of money. I am making less money (I am freelance, so I don't have a regular salary coming in) but we are not eating out (which we used to do at least once a week) or doing any other kind of shopping. Since we are home more, when it's cold I make a fire in my wood-burning stove and that heats my house. I haven't used gas to heat the house in weeks.  I also stopped drinking the week before we went on lockdown, so that has saved us some cash as well. We cook more. I make bread sometimes. It's all good.

6) It's much easier to stay on my diet. We are not going out or having dinner at friends' houses so it's easier to stay on the straight and narrow.

There are lots of other reasons to be thankful about this situation as well. I will try to update as things come up if I think they can benefit someone else.

In the meantime, stay safe and wash those hands!

Finding the Right Bagno For You

It's summer here in Trieste and you know what that means: going to the "bagno." You're thinking: I do that every day several times, but in Trieste andare al bagno means to go to the beach. It's all in the preposition.

First, remember that in Trieste beach has nothing to do with sand. If you are into sand, you will have to drive an hour away to go to Grado or Lignano. If you stay in Trieste, don't say I didn't warn you, and please don't try to school me on what "beach" means because we are in Trieste and the rules are different. Here, what is normally considered a boardwalk by the sea is called a spiaggia or, in Triestino, il bagno.

Because I love you and want you to fit in, here is a trigger warning:

Do not get the Triestini started on the debate about Concrete vs. Sand because it is a battle no foreigner can win. Here are the arguments in advance.

Sand: Bad
1. Not hygienic.
2. Gets in your swimsuit and itches.
3. Prevents water from being transparent.

Cement: Good
1. Fits more people. (Carry your portable chaise-longue or brandin by your feet on your scooter)
2. Does not get in your swimsuit and/or itch.
3. Allows water to be transparent so you can see the prickly sea urchines (also an indicator of clean water) before you step on them (Don't. Trust me on this.).
4.  Provides a flat surface for your card table so you can play gnagno (which is Triestine UNO) or other card games with your deck of Triestin cards (listen up, over 75 crowd, and get there early!).

If Barcola area is your preferred beach destination, for a chance at parking, try transition times like 5am (especially if you are bringing your card table and four folding chairs), lunch time and after work.

Different areas at Barcola
        Topolini: Built by the Americans after the war, they are tiled areas where teens hang out.   
         Pineta: This part has a little pebble beach, so lots of families with small children. The wooded  area has shade, another draw for families. Don't hang up a hammock here between two trees and try to catch a nap. You could get a 300 euro fine. 

There are a few kiosk bars and you are walking distance from two pizzerias and several restaurants and an ice cream place, too.

If you are feeling athletic and want to get away from the crowds, go a little further down the road towards Sistiana with your car.

Filtri is good if you are feeling adventurous and don't mind walking. Park and take a hike down to the water and back up: more work means less people.

There are a couple options in downtown Trieste.

Pedocin: It is near the port and the Aquamarina swimming pool. You pay one euro to enter here and it is divided by gender. The women's area is crowded. The mens' part is not.
Ausonia: Also downtown, you pay to enter but have summer entertainment as well and even yoga at sunset and that type of thing.

From here, you can go to Muggia, and look for the perfect solution along the coast. There is a doggy beach near the Lido hotel, by the way.

Molo T is a nice place for kids to spash around. There is a pebble beach and also a pier for diving and clanfe.

Most beach areas in Trieste and Muggia have a bar outside but feel free to bring your own snacks.

Enjoy your summer!!
 

What? No Harriet Tubman on the Twenty?

Shame on you, Mr. President.

I have been waiting so long to see a woman on the money. Phooey.

It's not fair.

Tell me what I can knit to protest. I need a new project. This is ridiculous. 

Make Way for Goats!

I haven't been blogging lately because I have been writing more offline. I have also been getting up at 5:00 every day to run. This may sound crazy to you, but I did a little life assessment. This means I tried to remember the last time I had a surplus of energy and felt healthy and could do a million things and felt happy and fulfilled all at once. I had to go back a few years to a simpler time when it was just me in a big empty house in West Falmouth, Massachussetts. The big difference between then and now? Bed time and wake up time. At that time I was waking up at 5:00 and running until 6:30. Then I would go back home, take a shower, and go to work.

In early February I decided to give this a try. Being out of shape and a good twenty pounds (minimum) heavier, I decided to shoot lower as far as time, so I settled on one hour, which was one hour MORE than what I was doing before. I chose a start date and went for it. I use my watch as an alarm clock so I don't wake up my husband with my phone, which I charge in the kitchen. I lay everything out the night before so I get dressed automatically with no thinking necessary. This is important at 5am. When you are worried about waking other people up you can't use the snooze button, either.

At 5, the world is still sleeping. Your time is your own. After 6:30, people start wanting things from you. I run on the bike path by my house. I have a flashlight, but I don't need now like I did a couple of weeks ago.

For the most part it's just me and the birds. One day there was a red jackal on the path (I turned around and went the other way because I hadn't yet read that they normally don't attack people). Over the last two weeks I have seen jackrabbits too.

Today I didn't get to finish my whole route. I was interrupted by about two dozen GOATS on the other side of the old railroad tunnel. Hilarious. There was a dog with them, so I imagine they belong to someone. There they were. Right in the middle of the road. I thought they would go away once I got closer to them, and a couple of them did move, but most of them were more interested in whatever they eating than me. When two of them did an honest-to-God Head Butt against each other, I realized that this was a turf war that I could not, would not, did not want to win. I watched them for a while, then I turned around. 

What happiness! What energy! What a day! And all it took was a bunch of goats.

Anyone up for some Gnagno?

Looking for the gift for those kids who have everything? How about a pack of Triestine playing cards and a quick lesson in "Gnagno." Basically, it's the same as UNO but with skinnier cards and funkier suits.

What?!?

You Never knew the Triestini had playing cards of their very own? Ever heard of the game Scopa?

Whaaaaaaa?!

Well, here you are, my friends. YOU ARE WELCOME! 

We are going to the States this week and guess what we are bringing. Yep, two packs of cards (and some Olive Oil and some trinkets).

In Trieste, quality time with family means playing cards. 

You can buy them in most Tabacchino shops (look for the stores with a big T sign outside). It's what the kids here play when they are skipping school. It's what the senior citizens most love and fight about with their friends.

Having a deck of cards can be a good way to make friends and/or enemies. Either way it's a good way to pass the time.

If cards aren't your thing, don't worry, your new Triestine pals will entice  you into a nice game of Tombola (Bingo basically) after Christmas supper, which is also a great way to practice your numbers in Italian.

Sunday Lessons in Village PR

We finally had some time to get stuff done around the house today so Cristian was out in the driveway cutting wood this morning. See, we have this woodburning stove we use to supplement the regular gas heat (and having fires in winter rocks). Since there are other people at his work with fireplaces and woodburning stoves, they order their firewood together. You can load it up and take it home when you want (company perk, Triestine style). The wood is cheap but you have to cut it to fireplace size yourself, which is a great excuse to buy a chainsaw.

Which brings me to the lessons I learned today.

Lesson 1.
My husband really loves his chainsaw.

Lesson 2.
Chainsaws are Man Magnets.

Within about 10 minutes there was a 3-man fanclub out there talking wood: where to find it, how to cut it, the best ways to burn it.

And in this neighborhood, when men come over to talk anything, you better offer them something to drink. This is met with, "Oh no, I couldn't. You are so busy..." followed by "Oh, alright. Let me bring home the hound and I will be right back."

When they come back, they bring a bottle of wine and you know it's going to be good because it has no label, which means that it is "Domace" and if they didn't make it themselves, someone close by did. This is a precious gift and a gesture of friendship.

Of course, you will not open it (now) because you also have a bottle waiting. It also has no label and is "Domace," fresh from the cantina of someone in the village up the hill. In this case, it is Emil's, the one with the twin boys who just graduated from College. Uncle Boris gets his wine from him, too.

The neighbors stay for two drinks and in that time they talk about what the village looked like 40 years ago, when our house was a small grocery store and the yellow house on the corner was a bar, and the house behind ours was the bakery.

Oops. Look at the time, they drink up, and say their goodbyes. They, too, have a lunch to get to. We call the mother-in-law and explain that we lost track of time. We were cutting wood, the neighbors stopped by and Cicole Ciacole, an hour has passed. In the meantime the washing machine finished its cycle and we still have to hang out the clothes (in our village you hang clothes outside even in winter), then we will be right over. Of course, she says, that's life in a village.