What Color is Your Old?

You want to look 20 years older than you are?

How would you like to have old people health problems in the comfort of your own home and while you are out in public?

Does the idea of looking terrible in your clothes appeal to you?

If you answered YES to any of these questions, then I have your one-stop solution. It's so easy I can't believe I didn't think of it sooner!

Just gain 20 pounds!!

In fact, it is so easy I didn't even notice I was doing it until my pants wouldn't button and I felt like an old fart! It was amazing! My back started hurting, my eye sight got worse, and I became a total grump!

In fact I was just about to try to buy a nice two-story house that was accessible after going up 82 steps or going down 92 when I had a moment of clarity and said to myself:

NOW WAIT HERE JUST A GALL-DARN MINUTE!!

I am 43 years old!! I should be looking for something much smaller, all on one floor. With an elevator and a Super Coop downstairs, and within walking distance of a hairdresser. This was no time to be looking into buying a house with a yard!! My daughter is five years old! What does she need with one of those anyway?! She'll be going to work soon to support her elderly mother. No time for play!

Yes, I had come back to my senses!! Since I was getting old, I would need a nest egg. So I decided to save money on Food. Specifically, I would eat out less and eat less in general. In fact, it's working. I can button my (fat) pants again.

I am back on the road to skinny and rich and young. I shudder at my own potential!

In Trieste there are three kinds of old people-- the ones who act old and grouchy and hog the waiting room at the Doctor's Office on most mornings, the ones who do Zumba, and the ones with walkers and small hyper dogs.

Which one will I be?  I'll check back after summer.