The Art of Saying Goodbye

I just finished teaching a two-day course in Mogliano Veneto. I have been teaching a lot of these lately, which is how I have gotten so good at knowing everything about the two-block radius around the train station in Mestre (I get dropped off there about an hour before my train, which was a drag until I realized there are some great ethnic food shops in the area and a Chinese restaurant --actually, three, but there is one I have chosen for  my little pre-train snack...).

There is something SIGNIFICANT about finishing a two-day course that leaves you tired, a little sad, a little happy to get home. For one thing, I put a huge amount of preparation time into these things without really knowing who I am teaching to. Teaching 8 hours a day requires a different kind of prep than an 8-hour course over 4 weeks where you can hone your material for specific people. Sometimes you have to change gear completely and hope you don't flop.

That is the down side. The up side is that you can have a meaningful experience with people if you spend two full days with them.  

Here is what I really appreciate, even though I never thought about it until today. 

Italian people are really good at saying goodbye. 

They will not leave the class, even if you are busy doing the paperwork and wrapping things up and they could easily sneak out the door. No. They come up to you, they look you in the eye. They thank you, they tell you how much they enjoyed your class, they kiss you and hope to see you again. 

And then they say goodbye. 

Like a ribbon on a present, you have completion. Just like that. A beginning, a middle and an end. 

Until next time. 

Anglo saxons. We suck at saying good bye. We leave when the person isn't looking. We slip out unnoticed. We assume it is not important to you. We move on without having to confront the MOMENT of separation. We don't like coming face to face with our feelings. Not even with our families. The airport has a KISS AND FLY drop off point for a reason. We don't want to cry in front of you. 

Thank you notes that are hand written and sent with a stamp in the mail, yes. We do those. But we do not like to say goodbye in person. Too scary. Too permanent. Too uncertain. Saying goodbye brings to light the NEXT question. 

When will we see each other again? The uncertainty is too much for us. 

The Italians don't need to go there. They simply say CIAO and step out of the room.