Embrace August

I don't know if anyone else felt it, but I can say that this summer I have worked waaaaay more than I usually do in the Summer, and probably more than even most winter months.

What gives?

Is it just the craziest summer in the History of Trieste? I ask, because I used to cry in the summer because it was like Trieste became a really long, depressing, boring movie in slow motion from about June 15th on. NOTHING was happening.

Here is my theory.

I just happened to arrive in Trieste around the time of a Big Experiment. You see, in the olden days, Triestini used to go on vacation in August. That was it. Everyone. Which had its pros and its cons.

Pro. Everyone on vacation at same time.
Pro. It sucks working in August because it's too dang hot.
Pro. In the olden days people had really long vacations and that must have been nice.

Con. Traffic.
Con. Travel expensive.
Con. No chance to influence your vacation destiny.
Con. Other countries working with Italians have to deal with fact that Italians don't work in August.

Then that last point started to pick up momentum. Those countries getting frustrated with the Italians for being so stagnant in summer and blah blah blah became a big deal. And, with that, the Great Vacation Experiment was born.

All of a sudden companies, even a couple of big fatties, said people could CHOOSE when they wanted to go on vacation. Well, one week (out of your 4 or 5 delicious weeks, sigh) would have to be in August, but the others, whatevs, people!!

So the Triestini started to disappear around mid-June and, surprise surprise, you couldn't get much done.

Then there was the Mass Exodus in the two weeks sandwiching Ferragosto, which is August 15, but let's call it Labor Day, even though Labor day here is actually May 1st, but, you get the idea, it means Summer is pretty much over, even though it isn't really, so no more going Up North, which here is not actually North, but more like Croatia or Grado or Lignano. So, you couldn't get much done then either.

Then, life would begin again in September just in time for school to start.

Long story short: if you were trying to make a living in Summer, it was, like, a wasteland.

So the Big Vacation Experiment didn't last very long. This short period of time when Trieste kept offices and businesses open in August and scattering vacation around did not seem to increase productivity. Sure, offices were open, but no one was making decisions or anything, because they were too busy covering for their colleauges who were on vacation!

Which was too bad in some ways, because it was GREAT if you were the one going on vacation, but a NIGHTMARE for companies when they realized THEY were working but their suppliers and clients were not. So, that went by the wayside pretty quick, and we were back to the August vacation thing.

Flash forward. It has been a hot summer, but people have been working anyway. I mean, a lot, and well, and I am just shocked and amazed and delighted by this.

But now I am ready to go on vacation. That's it. I'm working tomorrow then I am OUTTAHERE until August 16th or so. Just in case you are looking for me.

Spritz Morbido on the beach starting Saturday.

That's what I'm talking about.

Have a Great Summer!

Put on Your Dancing Shoes

I always wondered where people dance once they have taken all of those lessons. Now I know: the SAGRA. This is the sort of outside party that the villages around Trieste take turns having to raise money for cultural events in their paese. You can go for dinner and have grilled civapcici or chicken or ribs and french fries and there is usually a great quantity of beer and wine to be had.

There is also live music and dancing. The music ranges from folky Triestine to 80s pop. The band will have at least one accordion. The senior population will ROCK OUT in front of you-- slow rocking-- but rocking all the same.

A Triestine favorite is the Line Dance. It is always the same one. It's like the Hustle with less soul. Let's say it's more like country line dancing. If you join the line, great. Try to get in the middle of the crowd so you don't end up in the front line when the group turns. They can do this one for hours and it seems to defy genre.

Watching everyone the other day, and seeing a group of small kids out on the dance floor, it reminded me of an American wedding, maybe the only time where everyone dances and nobody cares (Thank you, Booze!). And then I thought. Dang, if you know how to dance (just having the courage to try will suffice), you can always have a good time.

Your Summer Survival Kit in Trieste

Yesterday was one of those days where we had Things to Do and People to Meet. We finished our lunch date with friends and then suddenly had 3 hours before our meeting with other friends at the Sagra in Prosecco.

We, of course, had tons of things to do at home, but it never crossed our minds to go there. Nope, we are Triestini and it was Sunday. Therefore, once we got out of that place, we were out for the long haul. That is because we had our Survival Kit packed right in the car. Here is what is in it.

SUMMER SURVIVAL KIT IN TRIESTE

1. Kid. If you don't have the kid with you then it's only a matter of time before you have to do the where's-my-kid polka, and that is a time waster.

2. The dog. The beast needs watering and walks, which can both be done best when close by. Trieste allows dogs most everywhere and people don't seem to mind usually, unless the dog is a yipper. Also, there are enough crazy dog owners in Trieste that we look normal in comparison

3. The Beach Bag. This is key. We always have our beach bag packed and ready and already in the car. It contains: three swimsuits, three towels, three pairs of flip-flops, and a plastic shopping bag (for wet clothes afterwards).

When you have your kit, you never get bored! You never know when an opportunity for a Toc (that's Triestino for a dip) will present itself.

You must always be ready. With that, we killed 2.5 hours at Barcola yesterday afternoon. Had a couple of swims, got the dog in there, too. Even caught a nap. Life is good here, even in the heat.

Death Happens in Italy, too

Italians do not like to talk about death. Allow me to do it for them.

If you live here and marry into an Italian family, you can forget about estate planning. There will be no talk about your in-laws moving into a smaller apartment or a retirement community or anything like that. There will be no talk about putting things in other peoples' names to avoid problems later, nothing. This is not to say that ALL families are superstitious about death, but many are and you will just have to cross that bridge (well, let's just say you won't be crossing that bridge, or this post would not apply to you) when you get there.

If it does happen (and of course, let's hope it doesn't), there are LOTS of things to do. I found this document put out by a Union here that supports retired people. The first paragraph talks about their indecision about putting this document together and going through with it since many people are superstitious about talking about death. Incredible!

That is not even the thing that suprised me today. What did, was the fact that that Unions or a "Patronato" can actually help you complete some of the paperwork you need to do and cost less than a Notaio.

Here is an idea of what you need to do.

1. The declaration of death must be made within 24 hours.

If the death happens at home, you need to:

-Call the primary doctor, who will have to prepare an "ISTAT Certificate,"
-Get a copy of the Pathologist's Certificate (Certificazione del medico necroscopo)
-Declare the death at the office of the STATO CIVILE of the Municipality (COMUNE, behind Piazza Unità). You give them both documents plus your valid id (not a good moment to notice your i.d. has expired!)

If it happens in the hospital, they will prepare those two documents for you. Then you just go declare the death.

2. Death Certificate (Certificato di Morte): This is available in the Municipality where the death occurred as well as in the Municipality where the person was a resident. If the death happens in the same Municipality as where the person was a resident, the Death Certificate is available immediately. Otherwise you will have to wait about 10 days for the Death Municipality to communicate with the Municipality of residence.

3. Hereditary Succession. Italian Law says there are two kinds of succession and they depend on whether or not there is a Will (TESTAMENTO).

If there is NO WILL: It's called SUCCESSIONE LEGITTIMA. In this case the law determines who inherits.

If there is a WILL: It's called SUCCESSIONE TESTAMENTARIA. In this case the Will determines who inherits. Children of the deceased have their rights, though, and cannot be "cut out." They can always question the Will and will be entitled to their percentage of the patrimony. Others who can question the WILL are the spouse and any other people who normally would be in line for the throne.

Figuring out who the heirs are is NOT SIMPLE for a foreigner. Get help on this one. Ask a Union for help as it will cost less than the Notaio. There is always someone who inherits, at least up until the 6th degree of family (who gets how to figure that out? Not me.). At that point everything that is left goes directly to the State.

4. Agenzia delle Entrate. You have 12 months to make a declaration to the Tax Authorities. They will give you something called the Modello 4 which looks something like this  and you can do this without a notaio. You use this to outline who is left in the family and any buildings, homes, or land the deceased had. If you do not meet the deadlines you are liable for fines.

5. Tax Declaration. It will fall on you to do the tax declaration that year. You have to present a MODELLO UNICO. Not the 730, even if they did that one during their life. You may ask an accountant for help on this one. As always, ask the Union first. They do 730 forms. Perhaps they can also do the Modello Unico. You can also write off costs that you incurred after the death (example: healthcare costs. Get info on this!)

6. There are some other procedures for people who are not residents in Italy, so you will want some help on figuring out what. (see this document for an example)

7. Is there a PENSION involved? Get informed. Complicated complicated. If any money is due back, for example, it will not be refunded unless you ASK for it (think, tredicesima...) and they have a really long time to do it. You or your kids may have a right to the pension as well.

8. INPS (Healthcare system) is supposed to be notified automatically by the Medico Necroscopo within 48 hours of death. So that is one less thing to worry about (according to the document I am referring to).

9. Place of work. By all means, let them know. They will help you sort out the paperwork and get the ball rolling on that. Maybe they will be a support to you as well, especially if that person was a good colleague.

10. Bank. There is some paperwork to do there, of course. If there are any automatic payments going out, inform the companies to send a paper final bill because the bank freezes the account upon death. That's right. Even if you are on the account, you can't do much with it after a death until everything is sorted out (the Succession, etc)

11. Insurance. Is there any? Notify them.

12. Any loans or rental contracts? You are going to have to deal with the other parties.

13. The Car. You will have to do a Passaggio di Proprietà, even if it is in your spouse's name. It will cost you, of course.

14. Cancel the RAI contract for TV if it was in their name (the Union can help with this, too, I believe).  This is important especially if no one is left in the place of residence or it is being sold.

15. You have to notify the people who handle the WATER, ELECTRICITY, AND GAS. In Trieste it's all ACEGAS (HERA) but there are three different numbers. You have to deal with each one separately if you call. If you go in person you can do them all at once. You will have to transfer the contract into someone else's name if there is someone living there, or just close the contract if there is not. While you're doing this stuff, contact the phone company as well. All of these entities are slow, the faster you do it, the better.

This is just a start, but it could come in handy. I am no expert, but I am thinking that if I can get you thinking about it, perhaps you can come up with an action plan before you actually need it. Actually, I was inspired today by a friend who recently suffered a loss and it fell upon him to do this work. I went through something similar a couple of years ago for a distant relative who had no children, so I had some personal experience as well. We had to learn as we went along, and that is no fun when you are grieving.

May you and your loved ones LIVE FOREVER!!

Where to Go Play

There are  a lot of parks in Trieste. Some, however, are little ghost parks and remain empty most of the time. These do not give much satisfaction to the little ones. For the ultimate play experience, you want a good mix of other kids, but not TOO many other kids. You want to be able to go up the slide once in a while (when your mom isn't looking) and not have to wait too long for a swing.

Here are my top picks for free play this summer.

1. BARCOLA. There is something here for all ages, including big muscle people who go there for a free workout. Who cares if you have kids or not! You can get an eyeful of these folks working their triceps on the monkey bars in the twilight hours. For your little sweeties, they will move out of the way. If you park your towels near the big fountain with the statue of a swimming woman, you will find the first of several playgrounds to your right (if your back is to the water).

2. BORGO SAN SERGIO. Over by the excellent library with a great kids' section there is a wonderful park with extra long slides. Highly recommended. No problem parking. Besides books, the library has movies and music cds. Awesome.

3. GIARDINO PUBBLICO. They say that it is not quite up to its glory days, but it's a classic. The first time I went here I LOVED watching all the kids playing together in all the different languages you hear around this place in the summer.

4. VILLA REVOLTELLA. The only bummer about this place is you can't bring your dog. Come to think of it, dogs are not welcome at most parks in Trieste. Anyway, if your kid doesn't freak out at the statue of Pinocchio becoming a donkey, you will have a lovely time. I like the jungle gym, but it also has a closed-off area where kids can kick a ball around or get used to in-line skates.

There are probably other good ones, too. If you know of any, by all means, share in the comment section below!

Here is What I Forgot to Say about Teaching Refugees

You can never do enough when you work with refugees. Every time we teach there are people who come in off the street and want to join the group, too. I am happy the word is getting around and I don't want to say no to anyone.

So we created a spill-over class. We may have to create a new one.

So there is another thing I learned from the refugees. When they are happy, the word gets around.

What It is Like Working With Refugees

I am a lucky person. I work with refugees. I wrote about that here. I think it is time for a little re-cap of what I have gotten so far from teaching these courses.

I hope this partial list will act as a counterweight to what we see in the papers. It seems every time someone foreign is mentioned in the news, it is a story about violence, drugs, honor killings, and terrorism. There is none of that here.

1. My refugees are not angry people. They are happy, grateful, friendly people. They like Trieste.
2. My refugees have a hilarious sense of humor. We laugh a lot together.
3. My refugees are intellectually curious. If they could have 8 hours of class a day, they would.
4. My refugees are making friends with locals. I see them at the beach meeting each other and talking to new people as well.
5. My refugees treat women with respect. They come and greet me when they come in and say thank you when they leave, even when I am not teaching them. They are respectful of all of the women I have seen them around. They speak highly of their mothers, their grandmothers, their sisters, their wives (when applicable). Three of my refugees know how to sew very well because their mothers and grandmothers taught them.
6. My refugees speak several languages already, so learning Italian is going fast for them, English too. I can't believe the progress I have seen them make.
7. My refugees think eating pasta every day is a little much. They think we should eat more rice.
8. A sense of time can be learned. My refugees used to be late all the time, now they are punctual.
9. My refugees help each other. When they see another student struggling, they come along to the rescue in a kind and sweet way.
10. My refugees have given me new hope for the future. I am a changed person because of them. I recognize them as individuals and can now read the news with a grain of salt. There are many many people like my refugees and I hope I get the chance to teach them, too.

If you see someone walking around Trieste who looks like they may be a refugee, smile. See that person as an individual. It will change something in you, too.

What Color is Your Old?

You want to look 20 years older than you are?

How would you like to have old people health problems in the comfort of your own home and while you are out in public?

Does the idea of looking terrible in your clothes appeal to you?

If you answered YES to any of these questions, then I have your one-stop solution. It's so easy I can't believe I didn't think of it sooner!

Just gain 20 pounds!!

In fact, it is so easy I didn't even notice I was doing it until my pants wouldn't button and I felt like an old fart! It was amazing! My back started hurting, my eye sight got worse, and I became a total grump!

In fact I was just about to try to buy a nice two-story house that was accessible after going up 82 steps or going down 92 when I had a moment of clarity and said to myself:

NOW WAIT HERE JUST A GALL-DARN MINUTE!!

I am 43 years old!! I should be looking for something much smaller, all on one floor. With an elevator and a Super Coop downstairs, and within walking distance of a hairdresser. This was no time to be looking into buying a house with a yard!! My daughter is five years old! What does she need with one of those anyway?! She'll be going to work soon to support her elderly mother. No time for play!

Yes, I had come back to my senses!! Since I was getting old, I would need a nest egg. So I decided to save money on Food. Specifically, I would eat out less and eat less in general. In fact, it's working. I can button my (fat) pants again.

I am back on the road to skinny and rich and young. I shudder at my own potential!

In Trieste there are three kinds of old people-- the ones who act old and grouchy and hog the waiting room at the Doctor's Office on most mornings, the ones who do Zumba, and the ones with walkers and small hyper dogs.

Which one will I be?  I'll check back after summer.

Going to the Beach with your Dog

We were at Barcola beach last night when I had a couple of revelations.

1. I live in a city people come to for vacation.
2. You can bring your dog to Barcola now without a BREVETTO.

I want to hit on that second point here. In the old days you used to have to go through a whole PROCESS of becoming, and having your dog become, a lifeguard in order to take your dog to the beach. Now anyone can do it as long as you are entering the water in a relatively dangerous place (read, no spiagietta). You will have to go in using the treacherous stairs of the Pineta (which is the shady part closest to the big parking lot with trees and places for kids to play). For dogs this means scarey see-through stairs. For you it  means CARRYING your adult labrador until she can safely float. We parked our towels near the fountain last night and the night before and it worked out great.

Our dog worked for 6 years as a volunteer at the beach in Sistiana, which had a nice program that gave dogs and their owners a shady place to hang out on Saturdays and Sundays punctuated by 2-hour shifts watching people splash around and hoping you would not have to actually save anyone. It was a great gig. All of the dogs had their names on their harnesses, so little kids could call them by name and get to know them. In Trieste, you make friends through your activities, so hanging out with dog people became our social life for a while, too. Besides the overall positive experience, getting and keeping up the Brevetto gave us a chance to take our dogs to the beach, do some community service, and make friends at the same time.

When we put Luna into retirement (which coincided with my getting pregnant) the law had changed, allowing you to bring pets to the beach before 7am and after 7pm. That worked out as those were the hours dogs like best.

This year they changed things completely and have designated certain parts of Barcola for dogs. That being said, I would like to extend a little advice to other pet owners who are thinking of bringing their dogs with them.

1. Dogs get hot fast. Limit your beach-going hours to early morning and evening.
2. Keep her hydraded. There are lots of fountains around. Bring a bowl.
3. Those extendable leashes are dangerous. Don't use them at the beach. Keep it short so you don't trip anyone. Also, your dog does not need to "Feel Free". If your dog doesn't want to stay near you, cultivate a better relationship with your dog, please. Read anything by Jan Fennell to find out how.
4. Walk her often. There are grassy areas all around and garbage cans to put the poop. It is stressful just sitting there trying to be a good girl all day.
5. If she's a puppy she may drink sea water and get the poops. Just saying. Bring a bottle of water to dump just in case.
6. Don't assume everyone loves YOUR VERY GOOD DOG. They don't. Make sure your dog is the example that convinces the haters that dogs are okay. Leave your stressed out yipper at home or go to an obedience class first (this goes especially for little dogs. Size is no excuse for not training your dog).
7. Go to Max or Ricky for lessons. They will make you and your dog awesome.
8. If you want an easier place to go in the water with your dog, try the Lido Beach in Muggia. It is totally dog-friendly.

Enjoy!

Ps. If you do not have a dog, please do not offer our dogs food.

Will we ever retire??

Being an ex-pat mostly rocks, I must say. I have a great life in Trieste. But here is the thing. When you work in your own country, you have all the tools you need to plan for RETIREMENT. When you move abroad, not so much.

For one thing, retirement plans that you don't need to think about are for HIRED EMPLOYEES, not so much for people who have a Partita IVA or VAT number. Yes, we pay copious amounts of money into somebody's retirement fund, but it most likely will NOT be our own. To be able to actually retire, we have to pay in for a minimum of 40 years and, at this point, get out what we put in. For the moment that feels like a lot, but I am pretty sure that it really isn't so much in real life.

So, we must make a plan.

I started thinking about this when I got to Trieste and began asking around. I found out a couple of things about Triestini this way.

1. They don't like to talk about money.
2. They really don't like to talk about retirement.

And, when they did talk about it, what I learned was that they were very happy to let the STATE decide when and how they could retire and how much they would receive at that point. In fact, I can count on two fingers the number of people I know in Trieste who have Private Retirement funds. One of them is an American living here, and the other works for a company that opened it up automatically and has a matching program, which is unusual for Italy. She will have a nice retirement situation in the future. Lucky girl.

But, back to ME (me me!).

I was working with a physical therapist back in the day (as in, I was giving him English lessons) and I asked him what his plan was for retirement, since he was an independent person like me. His answer?

Him: "This place."

Me: WHAAAAA?

Yes, that's right. He had bought the apartment his office was in and planned to either sell it when he retired or rent it out and live off that.

That got me to thinking about who held the wealth in Trieste. I needed a benchmark.

I thought about who the wealthiest of the wealthy were in Trieste. That's easy. The Churches: Catholic, Serbian Orthodox, Jewish, Protestant. I realized they all had something in common: they are heavily invested in real estate. Unlike my church in the States, which lives off of contributions from the church community, the churches here collect rent.

So I started asking people about it, and found that people really LOVE talking about real estate and LOTS of people have apartments they rent out.

"Mattoni! They say. The only REAL investment."  Which is Triestino for: "You can't trust the banks."

Many of the apartments are inherited (I would love to be an heiress myself). Some are bought. I decided to buy once I had put away a nice chunk of change from living simply and spending MUCH LESS than what I earn. (For tips on this, you may want to sift through past posts on living the frugal life in Trieste).

Apartment number 2 (as in, not the one I live in) was a NUDA PROPRIETA. This means I bought the apartment at a much cheaper rate and paid lower taxes because a person was living in it and had the right to live in it until his death. Morbid, I know. The idea that your joyous day is the one where someone else departs this life can be a little disconcerting.

In our case we knew the person well, as he was a distant relative with no heirs. He had been looking to sell in this way anyway (even before we came along) and so it was a win-win. Our buying his house allowed him to stay at home (with home care until the very end. He was also happy he wouldn't have to clean out his house (yeah. We had to do it. Ugh). Great location, close to University. Score. We got the electrical system up to code, cleaned it out (except for one set of false teeth, which our first renters found by accident-- whoops!), painted it, put on the finishing touches and rented it out. Awesome.

Now we are ready for apartment number 3. This time we are going for something small within walking distance from the center. The historical center is priced high for what I am looking for. I want a nice return.

Here are my search criteria:
1. Close to center (within 10 minute walk).
2. A bathroom IN the apartment (some have one in the hallway. Nope.)
3. No real estate agency. I want from Privati to Privati. I hate paying commissions.
4. 1,000 euros/square meter or less.
5. Have a renter already inside with a legal contract. There are several reasons for this. Cash flow, of course, but it has to be up-to-code to be rented out legally, so that is a 5,000 euro savings right there. It also buys a little time if there are renovations to make.

I found one and we are in negotiations now. Wish me luck.

In the end the strategy is to up the passive income so that I can decide when to retire.

Stay tuned.

The Art of Saying Goodbye

I just finished teaching a two-day course in Mogliano Veneto. I have been teaching a lot of these lately, which is how I have gotten so good at knowing everything about the two-block radius around the train station in Mestre (I get dropped off there about an hour before my train, which was a drag until I realized there are some great ethnic food shops in the area and a Chinese restaurant --actually, three, but there is one I have chosen for  my little pre-train snack...).

There is something SIGNIFICANT about finishing a two-day course that leaves you tired, a little sad, a little happy to get home. For one thing, I put a huge amount of preparation time into these things without really knowing who I am teaching to. Teaching 8 hours a day requires a different kind of prep than an 8-hour course over 4 weeks where you can hone your material for specific people. Sometimes you have to change gear completely and hope you don't flop.

That is the down side. The up side is that you can have a meaningful experience with people if you spend two full days with them.  

Here is what I really appreciate, even though I never thought about it until today. 

Italian people are really good at saying goodbye. 

They will not leave the class, even if you are busy doing the paperwork and wrapping things up and they could easily sneak out the door. No. They come up to you, they look you in the eye. They thank you, they tell you how much they enjoyed your class, they kiss you and hope to see you again. 

And then they say goodbye. 

Like a ribbon on a present, you have completion. Just like that. A beginning, a middle and an end. 

Until next time. 

Anglo saxons. We suck at saying good bye. We leave when the person isn't looking. We slip out unnoticed. We assume it is not important to you. We move on without having to confront the MOMENT of separation. We don't like coming face to face with our feelings. Not even with our families. The airport has a KISS AND FLY drop off point for a reason. We don't want to cry in front of you. 

Thank you notes that are hand written and sent with a stamp in the mail, yes. We do those. But we do not like to say goodbye in person. Too scary. Too permanent. Too uncertain. Saying goodbye brings to light the NEXT question. 

When will we see each other again? The uncertainty is too much for us. 

The Italians don't need to go there. They simply say CIAO and step out of the room. 

How to Drive in Italy

There is a very nice story today from NPR about getting an Italian driver's license. You should read it, especially if you are an American living in Italy or thinking about driving here.

The long and the short of it is this: if you live in Italy more than a year, you MUST have an Italian driver's license. Lots of people used to get away with not doing this, but lately people are getting HUGE FINES for driving here without the proper translated document. To get that international driver's license you have to plan ahead. Here is a website where you can apply for one. 

This is just a translation of your driver's license, but it's more official, because it also has a picture of you, I suppose. By itself it means nothing. It must be accompanied by your VALID US license and a passport. It generally takes 4-6 weeks to get one. I checked with the local police here, and they do not accept any other documents for American drivers, so, if you want to drive, get one or take the bus.

If you are a permanent resident in Italy, on the other hand, I suggest you suck it up and take the course sooner rather than later!

Yes, I know, I know, you have been driving since you were 16, blah blah blah and  I know how BELOW you it is to have to take driver's ed again, I know I know. I feel your pain. I was once where you are now.

Now shake it off, dry off the tears, and sign up.

A couple of things for you to know.

1. You can't do it on your own, even if you *technically* can

You will want to save money, hassle, and embarassment by studying on your own, but it doesn't work that way, my friend.

For one, the test is goddamn hard. Impossible. Crazy. Trick questions, strange language, wacko. You will need the help of a professional to show you the right approach to the written part.

Then there is the fact that driving schools produce drivers, but it often feels as if the whole testing bit is rigged. Meaning, if you are in a school, you WILL pass the exam. If you are not, you probably will not pass. I could write a book on this whole strange and complicated relationship between the instructors and the examiners, but the thought gives me a mild case of the tremors.

2. It is expensive, but you really do learn a lot!

The theory classes are one thing (I urge you to attend them), and they continue all year long, you jump in where you want, do all the lessons and then it starts over like a Merry-go-round. People jump on and off when they need to. It's actually pretty clever.

Then you have to do a minimum of hours behind the wheel with an instructor. I had to do six. It was helpful. My teacher actually explained how to park. I had never thought about it. And his explanation means that I can get into ANY car, not just mine, and park it like a pro (well, maybe that is going a little too far).

Imagine learning how to drive AGAIN NOW knowing everything you know. You may be pretty good, at driving in the States, but, seriously? Even a monkey can drive in the States. Italy is a totally different party, Dears.

For most of us, when we learn to drive at age 16, we are just trying to get the machine to move and stay on course (the car I used for my driving test did not have power steering, by the way!).

Now, you can go all Formula 1 if you want to. I became a better driver the second time around. Really.


3. Drver's Ed in Italy gives you a window into the Italian mind.

Sometimes it is not pretty, but it is interesting anyway.

4. Rules here are different and your eyes look in all the wrong places.

It takes some getting used to. The first time I realized that I would have too look to the side instead of ahead and to the right to see a stoplight, it was a little disconcerting.

5. It can help your Triestino.

I got really good at Triestino by taking driver's ed class in Trieste. It didn't matter that most of the students were foreign. The teacher taught in Triestine the whole time. Fascinating.

6. The first year you get your license you have certain rules you have to follow like:

zero tolerance for alcohol.
you can't go over 100 kph
you can't drive cars that have too much power

In fact, that first year is a real pain.


So yes, I know you are a good driver, but do this ASAP. Get it out of the way. You can even do it at 7:00 in the morning if you want.

That is what I did. Then at 7:30, when I was free and legal, I hit a bus.
No one was hurt.
But, don't do that.