What Happened to My Early Retirement?

Week One was BLISS. Really. It was so amazing. I was like This is what it must feel like to be retired. I loved every second of it. The thought of ever having to leave my house again was far, far away. I felt like a bear and all I wanted to do was hibernate.

Week Two was a little tiny bit worrisome, but still BLISS. I felt guilty for being so happy. I tried to spend my time connecting with people I hadn't heard from in a while. It was friendship maintenance week. I was creative. I dug up old projects that were hiding under new projects (that I wasn't working on either) and I worked on them. I felt alive.

Week Three was like MY HOUSE IS A MESS. I CAN'T LIVE THIS WAY. I MUST CLEAN UNTIL MY HANDS BLEED. This was the week I fell into the Double Standard that people who work from home suffer from. If you are at home rather than in another physical space called "work," you are expected to do EVERYTHING in the house, that's just how it is. No one else will lift a finger. Everything that is not right at home becomes your fault, too. And the worst part is that since you feel so guilty for not being somewhere else, you take the blame for it ALL and do everything in your power to make things right again. It actually works for a couple of days but it's completely unsustainable.

Week Four was like HOLY SHIT IF EVERYTHING IS CLOSED WHERE IS ALL THIS WORK COMING FROM? Are these people going to pay me?!

Week Five was like MY HOUSE IS MESSY AGAIN AND I AM ALWAYS ON A DAMN VIDEO CONFERENCE.

Week Six was like I NEED A SUBSCRIPTION TO THE NEW YORK TIMES because they removed the paywall for the Corona Virus stuff but I WANT TO READ ABOUT SOMETHING, ANYTHING ELSE!!

Summary:

1) I am working more now than I did before, when I was actually leaving the house.
2) If it's in the house, it's MY problem now, that includes all the extra cooking and cleaning. Ugh.
3) Every time I try to expect the worst, something seemingly NOT BAD happens, like I get more work.
4) The Quiet I crave is difficult to put on the calendar, but it must be scheduled! 

My new goal for the weekend is to actually have a weekend.  Only one video conference scheduled. That is huge.

Take care! Stay safe!