Week One was BLISS. Really. It was so amazing. I was like This is what it must feel like to be retired. I loved every second of it. The thought of ever having to leave my house again was far, far away. I felt like a bear and all I wanted to do was hibernate.
Week Two was a little tiny bit worrisome, but still BLISS. I felt guilty for being so happy. I tried to spend my time connecting with people I hadn't heard from in a while. It was friendship maintenance week. I was creative. I dug up old projects that were hiding under new projects (that I wasn't working on either) and I worked on them. I felt alive.
Week Three was like MY HOUSE IS A MESS. I CAN'T LIVE THIS WAY. I MUST CLEAN UNTIL MY HANDS BLEED. This was the week I fell into the Double Standard that people who work from home suffer from. If you are at home rather than in another physical space called "work," you are expected to do EVERYTHING in the house, that's just how it is. No one else will lift a finger. Everything that is not right at home becomes your fault, too. And the worst part is that since you feel so guilty for not being somewhere else, you take the blame for it ALL and do everything in your power to make things right again. It actually works for a couple of days but it's completely unsustainable.
Week Four was like HOLY SHIT IF EVERYTHING IS CLOSED WHERE IS ALL THIS WORK COMING FROM? Are these people going to pay me?!
Week Five was like MY HOUSE IS MESSY AGAIN AND I AM ALWAYS ON A DAMN VIDEO CONFERENCE.
Week Six was like I NEED A SUBSCRIPTION TO THE NEW YORK TIMES because they removed the paywall for the Corona Virus stuff but I WANT TO READ ABOUT SOMETHING, ANYTHING ELSE!!
Summary:
1) I am working more now than I did before, when I was actually leaving the house.
2) If it's in the house, it's MY problem now, that includes all the extra cooking and cleaning. Ugh.
3) Every time I try to expect the worst, something seemingly NOT BAD happens, like I get more work.
4) The Quiet I crave is difficult to put on the calendar, but it must be scheduled!
My new goal for the weekend is to actually have a weekend. Only one video conference scheduled. That is huge.
Take care! Stay safe!
Friday, March 27, 2020
Wednesday, March 25, 2020
When Enough People Want Something
The best explanation for the craziness that is this world-wide period of quarantine came from my friend Sara.
This is what she said:
"When enough people want the same thing... they make it happen!
Kids didn't want to go to school anymore. They were fed up.
Adults didn't want to go to work anymore. They wanted to simplify their lives. They were tired of all of those commitments and appointments.
Nature just wanted to take a breath of fresh air."
So here we are.
This is what she said:
"When enough people want the same thing... they make it happen!
Kids didn't want to go to school anymore. They were fed up.
Adults didn't want to go to work anymore. They wanted to simplify their lives. They were tired of all of those commitments and appointments.
Nature just wanted to take a breath of fresh air."
So here we are.
Tuesday, March 24, 2020
Boredom is the new Uncertainty
We have lost count of how many days we have been at home. I suggest you do the same. You are not in prison so there's no reason to keep track of the days on the wall. You can check your calendar later. Just try to feel normal. Get up, get dressed, get those shoes laced up. You're not home sick, you're not on vacation. Treat the week days as weekdays and you will be fine... until the weekend comes and all of our good deeds and habits go to shit.
We don't feel the effects on Saturday or Sunday, mind you. Our problem is Monday. It used to be because we had to go to work or to school after a pleasant weekend. Now the problem is getting deprogrammed after 48-hours of non-stop Netflix and social media and all of the delicious decadence we do not allow ourselves during the week.
On Mondays, our brains don't remember how to function autonomously. My independant and usually interesting 9-year-old says: "There's NOTHING to DO!" and my own brain cries for the dopamine rush of the down-swipe refresh. Seriously, it takes an entire day to get over it.
Some may suggest taking ourselves off the during-the-week social media/T.V. diet, but we've tried that. It only makes us into zombies who sleepwalk through weekdays, too. It's not pretty. Taking away Netflix, etc. during the weekend just feels cruel, especially since we are not free to roam around anymore.
Instead of being a meanie on weekends (isn't 5 out of 7 enough??) I hope instead for a major internet outage that would force us to take up old-fashioned forms of entertainment: Hey! Let's work on that latchhook pillow for your room! Who's up for a million-piece puzzle? Monopoly anyone?
They say boredom is necessary for creativity, so I keep that in mind as the complaints start rolling in at breakfast and intersperse throughout the day. Sometime after lunch when the room is clean, the homework is done, and 30 minutes of book have been read, Little Sweetie asks for an Exacto knife and if she can have the cardboard box which, before the weekend, housed beer. What a relief as Boredom is replaced by Danger and a Vision for the Perfect House for (creepy) LOL dolls, a mom's signal that the weekend is finally over.
We don't feel the effects on Saturday or Sunday, mind you. Our problem is Monday. It used to be because we had to go to work or to school after a pleasant weekend. Now the problem is getting deprogrammed after 48-hours of non-stop Netflix and social media and all of the delicious decadence we do not allow ourselves during the week.
On Mondays, our brains don't remember how to function autonomously. My independant and usually interesting 9-year-old says: "There's NOTHING to DO!" and my own brain cries for the dopamine rush of the down-swipe refresh. Seriously, it takes an entire day to get over it.
Some may suggest taking ourselves off the during-the-week social media/T.V. diet, but we've tried that. It only makes us into zombies who sleepwalk through weekdays, too. It's not pretty. Taking away Netflix, etc. during the weekend just feels cruel, especially since we are not free to roam around anymore.
Instead of being a meanie on weekends (isn't 5 out of 7 enough??) I hope instead for a major internet outage that would force us to take up old-fashioned forms of entertainment: Hey! Let's work on that latchhook pillow for your room! Who's up for a million-piece puzzle? Monopoly anyone?
They say boredom is necessary for creativity, so I keep that in mind as the complaints start rolling in at breakfast and intersperse throughout the day. Sometime after lunch when the room is clean, the homework is done, and 30 minutes of book have been read, Little Sweetie asks for an Exacto knife and if she can have the cardboard box which, before the weekend, housed beer. What a relief as Boredom is replaced by Danger and a Vision for the Perfect House for (creepy) LOL dolls, a mom's signal that the weekend is finally over.
Monday, March 23, 2020
Corona Virus and Crazy Information
Yesterday in my post, I forgot to add one of the most glaring Cognitive Biases out there when it comes to how people are reacting to the Corona Virus. In his book, Thinking Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahnemann calls it W.Y.S.I.A.T.I. (What you See is All There Is).
We make decisions based on the information we have in front of us. Here is a nice, simple explanation for it.
Last night my husband gets a strange message from a friend of his that was forwarded from someone else forwarded from someone else forwarded from someone else who APPARENTLY is an Italian in RUSSIA. The dialogue goes something like this (roughly translated):
"I am Antonio from Italy and I live in Russia and here I am in Pharmacy (which is supposedly in Russia but is spelled PHARMACY on the sign) in Moscow and I am so surprised to see that Corona Virus has existed here for 19 years and there is vaccine for it since 18 years. HOW CAN IT BE THAT IN ITALIA so many people DIE when HERE IN RUSSIA they have cure??"
WHAAAAAAA?
So I say, are you friends with Russian Bots, honey? Because that is some wacked out crazy stuff you're getting there. Does Paolo (friend who sent it who normally sends dippy jokes on Whatsapp) think this is real? Is it really Paolo? Like, maybe you need to have a talk with him or completely eliminate him from your life?
This is the perfect example of when NOT to rely on the WYSIATI cognitive bias.
How many people are getting this junk and believing it?
Then, today on the front page of one of the many newspapers I obsessively click through to fill my cup up with morning angst there is a picture of blissfully ignorant spring-break-people having chicken fights on a beach in Florida surrounded by a half-moon of spectators joyfully taking in this entertaining sight in the midst of a global pandemic.
My first thought: Really? Chicken fights? They still do those? The most un-fun game in the world at the best of times...
The photo is juxtaposed with people in full-on battle-the-virus gear in an ICU somewhere in a slide show (which means it was either the Washington Post or the New York Times) to highlight the stark contrast between the believers and the Corona Virus WHO? folks.
What would the conversation with the chicken fighters sound like?
Interviewer (crazy enough to be out instead of home like the Weather Channel people who report from the eye of a tornado): I see you are partying on the beach rather than taking the necessary precautions of social distancing in order to inhibit the spread of the Corona Virus. How do you explain your actions?
Possible Answers:
1. "I don't know anyone who has Corona Virus, so I'm ok."
2. "We're all going to get it at some point, might as well get it over with while I'm young!"
3. "This may be the last time I can party for a LONG TIME and I want to support local drinking establishments."
4. "Corona Virus is a hoax"
Then there is the only CREDIBLE (but IMPROBABLE) answer...
5. "I'm sorry but my pre-frontal cortex isn't quite developed enough for me to see the possible consequences of my actions. I'm a little weak when it comes to executive function. After all, I am a few years shy of 25, when I hope to reach full maturity!"
What is the lesson here?
How about we take all of the extra time we have because we are staying home and getting our work done so much faster because we don't have to spend all day looking busy anymore and start thinking and reasoning again and making sure we have information from credible sources before we make up our minds about things?
Trust Science, people.
We make decisions based on the information we have in front of us. Here is a nice, simple explanation for it.
Last night my husband gets a strange message from a friend of his that was forwarded from someone else forwarded from someone else forwarded from someone else who APPARENTLY is an Italian in RUSSIA. The dialogue goes something like this (roughly translated):
"I am Antonio from Italy and I live in Russia and here I am in Pharmacy (which is supposedly in Russia but is spelled PHARMACY on the sign) in Moscow and I am so surprised to see that Corona Virus has existed here for 19 years and there is vaccine for it since 18 years. HOW CAN IT BE THAT IN ITALIA so many people DIE when HERE IN RUSSIA they have cure??"
WHAAAAAAA?
So I say, are you friends with Russian Bots, honey? Because that is some wacked out crazy stuff you're getting there. Does Paolo (friend who sent it who normally sends dippy jokes on Whatsapp) think this is real? Is it really Paolo? Like, maybe you need to have a talk with him or completely eliminate him from your life?
This is the perfect example of when NOT to rely on the WYSIATI cognitive bias.
How many people are getting this junk and believing it?
Then, today on the front page of one of the many newspapers I obsessively click through to fill my cup up with morning angst there is a picture of blissfully ignorant spring-break-people having chicken fights on a beach in Florida surrounded by a half-moon of spectators joyfully taking in this entertaining sight in the midst of a global pandemic.
My first thought: Really? Chicken fights? They still do those? The most un-fun game in the world at the best of times...
The photo is juxtaposed with people in full-on battle-the-virus gear in an ICU somewhere in a slide show (which means it was either the Washington Post or the New York Times) to highlight the stark contrast between the believers and the Corona Virus WHO? folks.
What would the conversation with the chicken fighters sound like?
Interviewer (crazy enough to be out instead of home like the Weather Channel people who report from the eye of a tornado): I see you are partying on the beach rather than taking the necessary precautions of social distancing in order to inhibit the spread of the Corona Virus. How do you explain your actions?
Possible Answers:
1. "I don't know anyone who has Corona Virus, so I'm ok."
2. "We're all going to get it at some point, might as well get it over with while I'm young!"
3. "This may be the last time I can party for a LONG TIME and I want to support local drinking establishments."
4. "Corona Virus is a hoax"
Then there is the only CREDIBLE (but IMPROBABLE) answer...
5. "I'm sorry but my pre-frontal cortex isn't quite developed enough for me to see the possible consequences of my actions. I'm a little weak when it comes to executive function. After all, I am a few years shy of 25, when I hope to reach full maturity!"
What is the lesson here?
How about we take all of the extra time we have because we are staying home and getting our work done so much faster because we don't have to spend all day looking busy anymore and start thinking and reasoning again and making sure we have information from credible sources before we make up our minds about things?
Trust Science, people.
Sunday, March 22, 2020
Life under Corona Virus Lockdown
I have been getting a lot of questions about what it is like to be in Italy right now because of the Corona Virus situation. As it spreads around the world, the questions have become more frequent. I am assuming this is because looking at our situation provides a glimpse into a possible future, like how the Hubble Telescope helps us understand the past. Daniel, my friend in Sao Paolo, also under lockdown, but for less time, calls me his "laboratory guinea pig" who shows him what he can look forward to in the next few weeks. He's not the only one with this idea.
Here in Trieste, we are now in almost complete lockdown. This means that we are not allowed to leave our houses or apartments, that is our default position. There are some exceptions to this rule:
1) Supermarket
2) Pharmacy
3) Newstand
4) Dog walking
5) Work, if absolutely necessary
In all cases, you must have a printed document with you which is downloadable online on the government website. As of this writing, this is the latest document. If you are walking your dog, you are expected to be very close to home, as in you could point to it if you were stopped by the police.
Which comes to my next point, you can be stopped and questioned by the police. They are giving out very large fines to people who are found not following the rules, which have been expanded just two days ago to prohibit outdoor sports and, get this, walking alone.
The question arises, then, just how can the virus spread if you are walking alone or out running on your own? The simple answer is that it's not about the activities in themselves, it's about how people interpret the regulations in creative ways so they can get out of the house. See, nobody likes being required to stay home. In English we say "You give an inch they take a mile." Supermarkets are now closed on Sundays because people were organizing meetings with friends there, even when they weren't shopping. For some reason, this was happening mostly on Sundays.
For more on why it's so hard to keep people on lockdown, this Ted talk gives us some interesting insights. I also believe that another reason people try to get away with not following the rules has to do with cognitive bias. For example, the Optimism Bias states that people are more likely to assume that bad things will happen to other people and therefore underestimate their own risks. We all like to think that we will be the exception to the rule. I certainly do not intend on getting Corona Virus, but that doesn't stop me from staying home and washing my hands and taking precautions against danger, however.
Another cognitive bias we are seeing in the U.S. news, for example, is the Confirmation Bias, which states that we tend to heed information that confirms what we already believe. If you buy into a source of information that has been telling you that the Corona Virus is fake and that it will get cleaned up in a few days, it will be very difficult for you to listen to other sources, even if they are credible and fact-based. This is why so many move ahead with their same routines even if they are being instructed to do differently.
If I can say something about my experience: it's not as bad as I thought it would be.
In Italy, the fact that so many of us have had to switch to working from home on short notice has brought out the best in people. It has forced us to acknowledge that there are other ways of doing things and that the "old way" is not always the best way. Those of us who teach have found that our students are more engaged, for example. Perhaps this is because they can sleep a little longer in the morning and we are using "their" tools to reach them. Other friends in jobs who never expected to be able to work from home are finding that performance indicators are off the charts for the same reasons. There is something about being able to work from home in your own way that is helping people work better. I think the idea of "putting your hours in" has been replaced with "getting the job done" in however much time it takes you. For some of us this means working late at night or early in the morning, and on weekends, but you don't hear people complaining about it. At least I haven't.
That being said, I have colleagues who are not adapting as well to this change. They seem to hope that things will go back to "normal" (the way it used to be) in April when this lockdown situation is supposed to expire, even though it is more likely that the situation will continue into summer. They will eventually come around, I suspect, but everyone has to take their time to process what is happening. It is not easy as none of us has ever experienced anything like this.
Other positive things about being on lockdown.
1) My house is clean. I don't know when the bug hit (it was not immediate), but I am a tornado of cleanliness and I am totally digging it!
2) More time with my new puppy. When we were getting her we were worried we wouldn't be able to handle the rigorous meal and walking schedule, but that all changed the day before we brought her home. I have the happiest puppy on earth!
3) More time with my daughter. We work together at the kitchen table. She has about 5 hours of homework to complete per day. She is in fourth grade and has to meet with her class and her teachers on Zoom for 45-minute sessions about three times a week. She would be happy to do this forever. Keeping track of her work and creating a schedule took a couple of weeks. On weekdays she has to get up at 7:30 and get dressed. At first it is hard to communicate to kids that it is a school day even if you are at home. There is no TV allowed during the week. TV and Netflix (and youtube) are reserved for the weekend. She is allowed two group chat sessions on Whatsapp with her girlfriends from her class (five of them total) on mom's phone per day: one after lunch and one in the evening for about 10-20 minutes each time. The moms agreed to keep it limited to those two sessions and the girls were happy that no chatting would go on without them. No one wants to exclude or be excluded.
4) I love my house and I am happy here. I organize my time so I can do everything I need to do and I don't waste time waiting for busses anymore (I don't have a car). This lack of freedom makes me feel more free.
5) We are saving a ton of money. I am making less money (I am freelance, so I don't have a regular salary coming in) but we are not eating out (which we used to do at least once a week) or doing any other kind of shopping. Since we are home more, when it's cold I make a fire in my wood-burning stove and that heats my house. I haven't used gas to heat the house in weeks. I also stopped drinking the week before we went on lockdown, so that has saved us some cash as well. We cook more. I make bread sometimes. It's all good.
6) It's much easier to stay on my diet. We are not going out or having dinner at friends' houses so it's easier to stay on the straight and narrow.
There are lots of other reasons to be thankful about this situation as well. I will try to update as things come up if I think they can benefit someone else.
In the meantime, stay safe and wash those hands!
Here in Trieste, we are now in almost complete lockdown. This means that we are not allowed to leave our houses or apartments, that is our default position. There are some exceptions to this rule:
1) Supermarket
2) Pharmacy
3) Newstand
4) Dog walking
5) Work, if absolutely necessary
In all cases, you must have a printed document with you which is downloadable online on the government website. As of this writing, this is the latest document. If you are walking your dog, you are expected to be very close to home, as in you could point to it if you were stopped by the police.
Which comes to my next point, you can be stopped and questioned by the police. They are giving out very large fines to people who are found not following the rules, which have been expanded just two days ago to prohibit outdoor sports and, get this, walking alone.
The question arises, then, just how can the virus spread if you are walking alone or out running on your own? The simple answer is that it's not about the activities in themselves, it's about how people interpret the regulations in creative ways so they can get out of the house. See, nobody likes being required to stay home. In English we say "You give an inch they take a mile." Supermarkets are now closed on Sundays because people were organizing meetings with friends there, even when they weren't shopping. For some reason, this was happening mostly on Sundays.
For more on why it's so hard to keep people on lockdown, this Ted talk gives us some interesting insights. I also believe that another reason people try to get away with not following the rules has to do with cognitive bias. For example, the Optimism Bias states that people are more likely to assume that bad things will happen to other people and therefore underestimate their own risks. We all like to think that we will be the exception to the rule. I certainly do not intend on getting Corona Virus, but that doesn't stop me from staying home and washing my hands and taking precautions against danger, however.
Another cognitive bias we are seeing in the U.S. news, for example, is the Confirmation Bias, which states that we tend to heed information that confirms what we already believe. If you buy into a source of information that has been telling you that the Corona Virus is fake and that it will get cleaned up in a few days, it will be very difficult for you to listen to other sources, even if they are credible and fact-based. This is why so many move ahead with their same routines even if they are being instructed to do differently.
If I can say something about my experience: it's not as bad as I thought it would be.
In Italy, the fact that so many of us have had to switch to working from home on short notice has brought out the best in people. It has forced us to acknowledge that there are other ways of doing things and that the "old way" is not always the best way. Those of us who teach have found that our students are more engaged, for example. Perhaps this is because they can sleep a little longer in the morning and we are using "their" tools to reach them. Other friends in jobs who never expected to be able to work from home are finding that performance indicators are off the charts for the same reasons. There is something about being able to work from home in your own way that is helping people work better. I think the idea of "putting your hours in" has been replaced with "getting the job done" in however much time it takes you. For some of us this means working late at night or early in the morning, and on weekends, but you don't hear people complaining about it. At least I haven't.
That being said, I have colleagues who are not adapting as well to this change. They seem to hope that things will go back to "normal" (the way it used to be) in April when this lockdown situation is supposed to expire, even though it is more likely that the situation will continue into summer. They will eventually come around, I suspect, but everyone has to take their time to process what is happening. It is not easy as none of us has ever experienced anything like this.
Other positive things about being on lockdown.
1) My house is clean. I don't know when the bug hit (it was not immediate), but I am a tornado of cleanliness and I am totally digging it!
2) More time with my new puppy. When we were getting her we were worried we wouldn't be able to handle the rigorous meal and walking schedule, but that all changed the day before we brought her home. I have the happiest puppy on earth!
3) More time with my daughter. We work together at the kitchen table. She has about 5 hours of homework to complete per day. She is in fourth grade and has to meet with her class and her teachers on Zoom for 45-minute sessions about three times a week. She would be happy to do this forever. Keeping track of her work and creating a schedule took a couple of weeks. On weekdays she has to get up at 7:30 and get dressed. At first it is hard to communicate to kids that it is a school day even if you are at home. There is no TV allowed during the week. TV and Netflix (and youtube) are reserved for the weekend. She is allowed two group chat sessions on Whatsapp with her girlfriends from her class (five of them total) on mom's phone per day: one after lunch and one in the evening for about 10-20 minutes each time. The moms agreed to keep it limited to those two sessions and the girls were happy that no chatting would go on without them. No one wants to exclude or be excluded.
4) I love my house and I am happy here. I organize my time so I can do everything I need to do and I don't waste time waiting for busses anymore (I don't have a car). This lack of freedom makes me feel more free.
5) We are saving a ton of money. I am making less money (I am freelance, so I don't have a regular salary coming in) but we are not eating out (which we used to do at least once a week) or doing any other kind of shopping. Since we are home more, when it's cold I make a fire in my wood-burning stove and that heats my house. I haven't used gas to heat the house in weeks. I also stopped drinking the week before we went on lockdown, so that has saved us some cash as well. We cook more. I make bread sometimes. It's all good.
6) It's much easier to stay on my diet. We are not going out or having dinner at friends' houses so it's easier to stay on the straight and narrow.
There are lots of other reasons to be thankful about this situation as well. I will try to update as things come up if I think they can benefit someone else.
In the meantime, stay safe and wash those hands!
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