Americans believe:
I will make MORE MONEY NEXT YEAR. I can spend NOW.
Italians believe:
I may NEVER MAKE MONEY AGAIN. I'd better save today.
American banks and Italian banks also think differently, especially when it comes to credit. American banks love to give it. Italians do not. The average American has a walletful of cards to choose from. Italians, not so much. Banks stateside and here on the old continent differ on Customer Experience as well (Disclaimer: the thoughts, opinions and declarations of this blog are purely personal and not meant to reflect the thoughts, ideas and/or opinions of all ex-pats living in Trieste, although they often do...) Americans care about it, Italians don't.
I was in my large, unfriendly Italian bank a few weeks ago gathering information on my very expensive credit card (1) and debit card (1) to make sure I could use them internationally and find out how much they would hose me for getting cash abroad.
Here is why I hate my bank (and the hospital and schools and public offices and basically all other Italian Institutions): NO RECEPTION DESK. You walk in and it's like entering a wild jungle. No clue where to go, who to talk to, everyone is pretending they're busy.
The only thing I understand at my bank is what the ATM does.
Finally, a lady came out of one of those private, off-limits offices peppered around the perifery and I walked in (I am probably not supposed to but there are no signs telling me what to do and I pounce on the opaque). I asked the kind (and obviously important) person who I should talk to. Oddly, he said HE was the one (miracle!). He was even nice. Most people who work in these places are, once you get their attention, and that is the hardest part. He printed up all of the information I requested. When he felt like he had satisfied my every banking desire, he changed the subject and raised his tone of voice to communicate EXCITEMENT about a NOVITA'!
Actually, he was required to get my signature on an18-thousand-page document explaining the change in conditions on my credit card. This was pre-empted with a sales pitch:
"STARTING NOW, YOU CAN ROLL OVER YOUR BALANCE ON YOUR CREDIT CARD AND PAY IT OFF IN 3, 6, OR 12 MONTHS WITH A LITTLE BIT OF INTEREST!!!"
Excuse me? This is the news? Isn't that why we call them CREDIT cards?*
So, let me get this straight. The ONLY advantage of my having a credit card up to now was that I could wait a month to pay rather than have my purchases (which I can afford because I don't spend money) come out of my account immediately with my debit card?
And I am paying 40+ euros per year for that?!
This bank (all Italian banks) is on the brink of collapse. I think about how much I pay in fees (started out as a free account but that change was another 18-page document to sign) for my account and products that are redundant. And to make things worse, I have to practically break into someone's office to get anyone's attention!
But I get like this every time I come back from the States. Forgive me.
I went back to Wisconsin last week. What struck me was this: it didn't matter where I went-- people were Deeply Concerned about my finding everything I wanted to find. It was a little much at times, but, I also had the feeling that even my lamest whim would be treated with Absolute Urgency.
My mom's bank is comfortable and inviting like a friend's living room. It has puffy chairs for when you have to wait (but you never do) and a machine with free (and good) coffee.
I mean, is it really so hard? Note to Big Unfriendly Italian Bank on the Brink of Collapse: let's work on our communication skills, shall we? And while we are at it, let's sharpen our long-term vision rather than short-term gain.
I am taking my business online, I decided, once I pay the fees to close my bank account (yes, it costs you money to close!!). The service is basically the same, but at least the webpage gives you clear and transparent information.
So there!!
*I pay my balance off every month because I learned good credit card habits when I worked at Bank One in the credit card department in college (my worst nightmares include a headset and a ringing phone that I have to answer like this: "Bankcard Customer Service, This is Karoline. Bankcard Customer Service, this is Karoline..."). Want a cure for the shopaholic blues? Work with credit cards.
Friday, September 30, 2016
Friday, September 16, 2016
It's Time for the PROVA(s) Everyone!
September marks the beginning of a new academic year for those who teach, and those who study, not to mention the handlers parents of the latter. To celebrate, I thought we could have a moment to contemplate the wonders of CHOOSING AN AFTER-SCHOOL ACTIVITY to keep the kids out of our hair a couple of hours a week help our little sweeties grow and become conscientious, strong, independent Team Players.
Here is what you need to know.
Age 3-5: You have Ultimate Control. You know exactly what you are doing, because You are the Mom/Dad and You. Know. Best.
Activities at this age are bothAthletic Opportunities moments for socialisation and certain Success in Later Life Positive Experiences. Choose Wisely. In fact, this is your Last Chance to give your babies that oh-so-important competitive edge Sfogo that only Learning through Play can provide. It will also ensure they will Not go to State School like you did prepare them for a rich and varied cultural life. There is Music class, English time, etc. I mean, come on! Everyone knows that soon the window will be closing on your child becoming properly imprinted for Physical and Mentally Superbness.
Iand 98% of Triestine parents suggest swimming. Make sure you choose a pool the babysitter and/or Nonni can get to without complaining too much. The first two lessons are free. Your kid will enjoy the heck out of those and in some pools you can even watch your little seahorse and dream of Olympic grandeur at the same time! Lesson Three, when you have paid for an entire year in order to get a 5 euro discount, your kid will cry and carry on and you will hate yourself for the next three months until you become desensitised and hand over that screaming banshee without even batting an eye. Their problem now.
"See you in 45 minutes, Sweetie!!"
Age 6: You know what you want but all the other girls are doing Gymnastics (and the boys are doing Calcio)! You are powerless against the Triestine Forces of Conformity.
Social pressure becomes nearly unbearable when kids get to elementary school. This is when parents understand the Truth. We are not as all-powerful as we once thought. While we still control the pocket-book, we desperately want our children to love us, and this becomes increasingly difficult in the Triestine context unless you submit to the idea that:
"Children should be Happy" in their after-school activities,
and
"Children should not have too many activities so that they have time to play and be kids."
No more asserting your Will on the wee-ones without coming under direct scrutiny by your Triestine husband, the Triestine Nonnis, and the Triestine community at large. Find refuge with the other ex-pats who believe neither of those statements to be true as long as you have a Long-Term VISION for your child's future (which, of course, you DO).
However, this is a battle you cannot win.
You may have liked the Pool after two years of getting used to the routine, the ego-strokes of having your kid convocato to participate in competitions (which start at age 4 if your child is particularly *ahem* aquatic or has that certain, shall we say, aquacità ), but it is about to End.
She is done with the Pool. Hates it. Can't stand it. Too many laps. Too Boooooring.
To prove her point, she has spent the entire summer perfecting her cartwheels hundreds of times per day and doing handstands against her bedroom door just like her gymnastics-going friends showed her... and, while you HATE HATE HATE the idea of change when you KNOW all Great Athletes (not that this is important) started Very Young, you have to admit:
There may be some Potential here...
But. Where? Welcome to the mid-September Triestine parent rat-race! It is the season of the PROVA. Like at the swimming pool, there are two free lessons for your kids to Love before you plunk down the cash and they begin to hate it but you no longer care.
So, you start asking around because Everyone has an opinion about where you should take your kids to gymnastics. Basically you have to ask yourself these questions.
1. Do you want to create a champion?
2. Do you want something close to home?
3. Prefer something in Slovene?
4. Want something that is Not Quite the Best?
5. Is it important for your gym to be financially secure?
For any question that has particular meaning to you, there is a gym that is right for you. If you want to save time, however, just find out where her friends are planning on doing the Prova and piggy-back along with them.
The kids will fall in love with the same place, anyway (so you could skip the prova in theory, but that is pretty courageous), so that's one headache less. Actual lessons will begin in October. It will be a twice-a-week commitment until school gets out. It will be at the worst time ever for your schedule, but at least you can carpool.
It is no longer about your hopes and dreams (which are crushed by now anyway) but rather what her friends are doing and logistics.
And, in the end, that is okay, too.
Here is what you need to know.
Age 3-5: You have Ultimate Control. You know exactly what you are doing, because You are the Mom/Dad and You. Know. Best.
Activities at this age are both
I
"See you in 45 minutes, Sweetie!!"
Age 6: You know what you want but all the other girls are doing Gymnastics (and the boys are doing Calcio)! You are powerless against the Triestine Forces of Conformity.
Social pressure becomes nearly unbearable when kids get to elementary school. This is when parents understand the Truth. We are not as all-powerful as we once thought. While we still control the pocket-book, we desperately want our children to love us, and this becomes increasingly difficult in the Triestine context unless you submit to the idea that:
"Children should be Happy" in their after-school activities,
and
"Children should not have too many activities so that they have time to play and be kids."
No more asserting your Will on the wee-ones without coming under direct scrutiny by your Triestine husband, the Triestine Nonnis, and the Triestine community at large. Find refuge with the other ex-pats who believe neither of those statements to be true as long as you have a Long-Term VISION for your child's future (which, of course, you DO).
However, this is a battle you cannot win.
You may have liked the Pool after two years of getting used to the routine, the ego-strokes of having your kid convocato to participate in competitions (which start at age 4 if your child is particularly *ahem* aquatic or has that certain, shall we say, aquacità ), but it is about to End.
She is done with the Pool. Hates it. Can't stand it. Too many laps. Too Boooooring.
To prove her point, she has spent the entire summer perfecting her cartwheels hundreds of times per day and doing handstands against her bedroom door just like her gymnastics-going friends showed her... and, while you HATE HATE HATE the idea of change when you KNOW all Great Athletes (not that this is important) started Very Young, you have to admit:
There may be some Potential here...
But. Where? Welcome to the mid-September Triestine parent rat-race! It is the season of the PROVA. Like at the swimming pool, there are two free lessons for your kids to Love before you plunk down the cash and they begin to hate it but you no longer care.
So, you start asking around because Everyone has an opinion about where you should take your kids to gymnastics. Basically you have to ask yourself these questions.
1. Do you want to create a champion?
2. Do you want something close to home?
3. Prefer something in Slovene?
4. Want something that is Not Quite the Best?
5. Is it important for your gym to be financially secure?
For any question that has particular meaning to you, there is a gym that is right for you. If you want to save time, however, just find out where her friends are planning on doing the Prova and piggy-back along with them.
The kids will fall in love with the same place, anyway (so you could skip the prova in theory, but that is pretty courageous), so that's one headache less. Actual lessons will begin in October. It will be a twice-a-week commitment until school gets out. It will be at the worst time ever for your schedule, but at least you can carpool.
It is no longer about your hopes and dreams (which are crushed by now anyway) but rather what her friends are doing and logistics.
And, in the end, that is okay, too.
Tuesday, September 13, 2016
100% Chance of School this Week
This means: do not try to get anything done at any kind of office at all this week, because there will be no one there to help you. This is not the bank's fault, or any other institution suffering from lower than usual numbers this week.
Pre-School:
These parents are not there because they are suffering from the dreaded INSERIMENTO period where they leave their children crying and screaming and desperately reaching for them for one hour one day, then two hours the next day, and so on until they reach their final destination: the full half day (after lunch) or the full full day (after lunch and snack). Once this is achieved these parents can officially begin the rest of their lives.
Elementary School:
No one told them but parents are supposed to be PRESENT for the first hour or so of school to get information from the teachers they probably missed at the meeting scheduled for an equally inconvenient time this summer. Then there is the mandatory coffee break with the other parents to catch up on the gossip of the summer, discuss the difficulty of finding the right notebooks and melt-downs over proper backpack designs.
Middle School:
Ditto on the school meeting. No one knew. But besides that, there is the problem of the HALF DAY of school rather than the FULL DAY of elementary. These parents have to figure out what the hell to do with their kids after lunch. Some of the challenging questions include: Is my kid Small or Big? If I let her go home alone will the cops bust me for child abandonment? Am I supposed to support her while she does her homework or can I just go back to work?
High School:
These parents are the ones holding down the fort for their colleagues at work during the first week of school. Meetings are not an issue until after report cards come out and teachers meet with them to discuss their so grown up but will always be your little angel's fine performance.
That is what is happening this week. So don't get frustrated. This is just part of life if you live in Trieste. No biggy.
Pre-School:
These parents are not there because they are suffering from the dreaded INSERIMENTO period where they leave their children crying and screaming and desperately reaching for them for one hour one day, then two hours the next day, and so on until they reach their final destination: the full half day (after lunch) or the full full day (after lunch and snack). Once this is achieved these parents can officially begin the rest of their lives.
Elementary School:
No one told them but parents are supposed to be PRESENT for the first hour or so of school to get information from the teachers they probably missed at the meeting scheduled for an equally inconvenient time this summer. Then there is the mandatory coffee break with the other parents to catch up on the gossip of the summer, discuss the difficulty of finding the right notebooks and melt-downs over proper backpack designs.
Middle School:
Ditto on the school meeting. No one knew. But besides that, there is the problem of the HALF DAY of school rather than the FULL DAY of elementary. These parents have to figure out what the hell to do with their kids after lunch. Some of the challenging questions include: Is my kid Small or Big? If I let her go home alone will the cops bust me for child abandonment? Am I supposed to support her while she does her homework or can I just go back to work?
High School:
These parents are the ones holding down the fort for their colleagues at work during the first week of school. Meetings are not an issue until after report cards come out and teachers meet with them to discuss their so grown up but will always be your little angel's fine performance.
That is what is happening this week. So don't get frustrated. This is just part of life if you live in Trieste. No biggy.
Monday, September 12, 2016
Zero Percent Chance of Rain Today
Don't let the rain outside fool you. It will NOT rain today. It will be perfectly sunny until Thursday. Put your umbrella away, people! weather.com does not lie!
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